Today I am going to share an excerpt of Chapter 2 of my book- “Embracing the Gift of Parenthood: How to Create a Loving Relationship with Your Children”.
Available: Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as Xlibris.
Chapter Two:
Spirit Guide
Question:
What do I mean by the terminology “Spirit Guide”?
I have an intuitive understanding that as parents we are the “spirit guides “for our children. What do I mean by the term ‘spirit guide”? Well, just like many philosophers and theorists before me, I realize that ultimately our children do not belong to us, but to themselves and the universe that they have come to be served in and to serve. We cannot take ownership of our children. We cannot impose what we feel to be their identity or their destiny. We begin this relationship with them while they reside in the womb. It is at this time we begin to understand some of their nature. It is important to be very communicative with them.
I can remember when I was carrying my daughter and began to understand what she liked and what didn’t sit well with her. She was very physically active especially at night, but at the same time it seemed as though she had endless energy. It always felt as though she thought she was in a gym and needed to exercise. She was constantly tumbling and turning summersaults. I had to rub my tummy and sing gently to calm her down. At the time I was pregnant, I was teaching kindergarten and Niki, my baby in the womb, tried to participate in all the activities. She responded to the children’s actions and their voices. The children in the class loved to talk to her as well. I knew that this child would be very physically active, very social, very imaginative, and deeply spiritually connected to nature.
Well 28 years later, I have witnessed Niki as being an elite athlete, a great communicator, public speaker, poet, screen writer, and she carries a profound respect for the relationship between “Great Spirit” and the majesty of nature. She is deeply rooted in identifying with her heritage and expresses homage to it through dancing and drumming. Even as a young child she would go out into our backyard and while other children would be playing with dolls, Niki would be digging for artifacts or building little shrines to honor “Great Spirit” and her Navajo lineage. I didn’t understand what she was doing, but I knew that this was a deeply personal experience that was important and sacred to her.
I feel that we have a responsibility to watch our children, to listen to them, and to talk with them, not at them. The receptive and expressive communication format that we develop with our children will make all the difference in the world in what we have as a foundation for building a functional, as opposed to dysfunctional, relationship with our children. The world is going to step in and try to take over as quickly as possible. If we are to be “spirit guides to and for our children, we must work diligently and with great commitment to preserve their childhood. We make our greatest imprint during their childhood. Adolescence will follow coming through like the tornado or hurricane that it is. If we hold our ground and we are steadfast in our relationship with them, we will survive the storm, and they will come out victorious.
I do believe that it is important for us to acknowledge the milestones of development in our children. Parents must educate themselves so that they have an understanding how children grow and develop. If we neglect this, we are doing not only our children a disservice, but we are also doing a disservice to ourselves. You don’t have to fumble around in the dark and bang your head against the wall every time it seems as though no matter what you do or say, you are not getting through to them. Trust me, they might not be listening to you, but they heard you. I strongly recommend taking a Child Growth and Development class as well as Parent Education courses.
If you find that your child has special needs, do not hesitate to reach out for support. There are so many resources available to you and your child. I strongly suggest, is that you evaluate the ideas and theories that are presented in the courses and then use what you feel is appropriate for your child, your family dynamics, and your cultural and religious values. You have to feel as though what you are doing for and with your child is intuitively comfortable and appropriate.
Chapter Two Reflection:
| In the role of a “Spirit Guide” what life experiences can you see yourself having the responsibility of guiding your child through? |
