Today I am going to share an excerpt of Chapter 4 of my book- “Embracing the Gift of Parenthood: How to Create a Loving Relationship with Your Children”.
Available: Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as Xlibris.
This is just a taste of the chapter!
Chapter Four
Why I’m Your Parent and Not Your Friend
I Realize
I realize you are expecting me to take my responsibility seriously and understand I cannot be your friend and Spirit Guide at the same time.
Question:
Why can’t we be our child’s friend and “spirit guide” at the same time?
I know that you are probably saying well according to the definition, I feel that as a parent I fit into that definition. Yes, perhaps we can fit into the second definition, but we definitely do not fit into the first. A friend is someone who may or may not be in relationship with you all of your life, but as parents we will never be considered acquaintances of our children. Friends will never make the investment in your life like a parent will. Friends usually love with conditions and parents by our very nature must love unconditionally. Friends can take you or leave you. Friends can outgrow each other. Friends can lie to each other and cheat on each other. Friends have a choice of being there for you in good times and bad. Parents have none of these options. It is imperative for us as parents to have a clear and consistent identity for the well-being of our children. You cannot afford to give children mixed messages.
Children do not need for us to be their equal. They need to look up to you for strength and wisdom. Many parents fall into the emotional trap of wanting to please their children and be their friend. They themselves are so in need of approval and love that they think that this void can be filled by their child. It is not a child’s responsibility to fill your voids. If there are pieces of your soul that you feel are empty and dead, it is because you are trying to resolve your human conditions with temporal things rather than with a deeper sense of spiritual connectedness and a relationship with “Great Spirit”. Please don’t bring life in the world to try to complete your “self”. You come to earth with everything you need, just like your children do. You just have to seek the truth about your gifts and using these gifts to the glory of “Great Spirit’s” intentions for your life and this will bring you a sense of wholeness, peace, and joy.
You have the responsibility of modeling what it is to be a parent to our children. You have a responsibility to let them know that we are not their friend. You are their parental earthly spirit guides. You have an obligation to take full responsibility for their childhood and tell them what you have a responsibility to do for them in their lives. You have a responsibility to never promise them something that you cannot or will not do. Your word has to be truthful and consistent. They must know that, as their parent, sometimes you will say yes to their request, and sometimes you will say no. You must let them know that you will always try to give them everything they need, and some of what they want. You must teach them in the real world there is no such thing as immediate gratification. Let them know that the only real entitlement they have is to be loved and cared for by you. You as a parent must create a united and consistent front of values and standards for your home and your children. There cannot be that “do as I say and not as I do”. Remember, you are their most important model of what it is to be a contributing, functional adult.
