Children are the greatest gift to humanity.
Today I am going to share an excerpt of Chapter 6 of my book- “Embracing the Gift of Parenthood: How to Create a Loving Relationship with Your Children”.
Available: Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as Xlibris.
This is just a taste of the chapter!
Spend Time with Your Child
“Love is not minding having your face painted by the artist in residence. You see she is very serious about her work.”
Make sure that you never laugh at children, only with them!!!
Chapter Six
Spend Time with Your Child
I Realize
I realize I must be very intentional in spending time with you, praying with you, playing with you, laughing with you, crying with you, listening to you, and problem solving with you.
Question:
What do I mean by spending time with your child intentionally?
In the busy and stressful society that we live in today, it is getting to be impossible to spend any time with our children. It seems as though we are on a treadmill and can’t get off. The family structure that was prevalent in my early childhood is almost extinct. I was born into a black middle-class family where my Mother stayed home to take care of her five children until the youngest child was in middle school. I grew up in an era when there were two parents in a home. It was a time when mothers were just beginning to work outside the home. It is amazing how the political climate affects the economic wellbeing and how economics affect the quality of life we experience in our family life as citizens of our society. Families face so many struggles today in just trying to keep a roof over their family’s head and food on the table. The middle class is on a downward spiral, so that American society is looking more and more everyday like the” have and have not” form of existence. Most parents are working more than one job just to break even every month. The truth is that most of us are just a paycheck away from financial trouble. We can’t afford to miss one paycheck, or we will be so far behind that we can’t keep our heads above water. If this is not stressful enough, we work on jobs that keep us uptight and fearful. The worst part about living under all this stress beside what it does to our physical and emotional wellbeing is that we have very little left to give to our personal relationships. Our families have to settle for whatever is left of our time, energy, and sanity.
We are in a position now that we actually have to be intentional about spending time with our children. Consequently, it is no longer just a natural phenomenon that we are just able to “be” with and accessible to our children. The new thought is that we should be intentional about spending “quality time” with our children. To me that meant that I had to make sure that I was “on” every time I set up my “quality time” with Niki. This used to drive me crazy and really made me feel anxious about not only setting out the time in my schedule, but when I was with her in this set up “quality time”, I never felt truly comfortable and relaxed. I just didn’t feel like I was in a natural relationship with my child.
I felt that she needed to be integrated into the whole fabric of my life experiences that were age and content appropriate situations. She and I developed a relationship that was intentional and naturally spontaneous. When she needed me to give her one on one attention, I felt it was my responsibility to meet her needs. There were times that I could not give her my undivided attention immediately, but I would assure her that I would be there for her as soon as physically possible. I always tried to keep my word, because trust is a very important element in building a relationship with your child. There were times I had to disappoint her, but I always found a way to reassure her that I loved her and that if she needed me in an emergency, I would never let her down. I was always very intentional about letting her know that her extended family could always be trusted to step in and support her if I were not able to get to her.
. It is vital that when we are spending time with our children that we are modeling the appropriate life skills. It is important for us to model integrity, respect and love in our everyday dealings with people. Whatever it is you hope for and dream for your child you must demonstrate but you cannot impose things that don’t fit their destiny call.
Question:
Why is it important for you as parents to pray, play, laugh, listen, and problem solve with your child?
| Chapter Six Reflection |
| Exercises: Reflecting on what we have discussed in this chapter, describe how you will spend time with your child. |
| I will spend time with my child by: |
Patty and Josh on his first ride on a swing.
Enjoy every moment of your parenthood it is a gift.
