Now that we are re-creating and re-designing our lifestyles as a result of adapting to the pandemic crisis, dealing with how to engage as family and friends is the next important consideration to reflect on and work on creating. One of the most emotionally draining parts of this experience has been the isolation we have had to deal with by being separated from the people we love and cherish. When you are accustomed to family gatherings and going out with friends, and suddenly you can’t get together or see each other in person, and this can be devastating. We have young children in our family and even 2 new baby girls which has meant we have really had to be in our own little bubble. It is so difficult when even within families you have to try to find ways to be in each other’s company without jeopardizing anyone’s safety. My daughter is a first responder, and it has been heart retching to not be able to give each other a hug or a kiss. We as human beings need love and that includes being touched and shown affection. I know that this has been so difficult for Niki and me! We are a very loving family and although we are not extremely physical with each other we have our own ways of expressing our deep love and affection for each other.
This isolation has caused us to be very creative in coming up with ways to be with each other and to see our friends. This experience has shown me the good part of being technologically savvy and having access to Facetime, WhatsApp, Zoom, etc. We have done Zoom family reunions, birthday parties, Sunday afternoon chats, and wine tasting events. Facetime is a daily venue for the family as we engage in conversations amongst ourselves and have a chance to see each other.
We have made a space in the driveway with a table and chairs so that our friends can come and visit while we post our masked selves on the front porch. We have had to find ways to be with each other. Family dinners have become masked picnic gatherings outside, 6 feet apart if you are in a different bubble.
I long for that feeling of being able to say, “kurudi nyumbani” – “Come home”! We need to feel like we have a home to come home to. A home that gives us and the people we love access to. A place for us to come home feel loved and appreciated. A place for us to come home to ourselves and the comfort that only home can give you. We have to stretch ourselves to be intentional about finding ways to be with each other. We can’t let the circumstances of this period in our lives engulf us to the point that we allow the quality of our lives to evaporate and dissipate. We can take some measure of control and create our own reality. We can engage with one another even if we must make more of an effort to do so. I think that out of this chaos we will value our relationship with each other more profoundly and be more persistent about extending ourselves to each other. If we are honest with ourselves, many of us had become so absorbed in the fast pace of life, that we lost sight of the value of our being in connection with each other. It might be difficult to see, but this is a gifted opportunity for us to renew the value and quality of our relationships. It is a second chance! Take hold of this time because it will eventually take a turn in some direction-we don’t exactly know in what direction, but if we secure how we “Come home to each other now”, we can weather anything that comes our way. Time to make your plan and put it into action!
I am!!!!
