What does it take and whom must you be to serve children as their teacher?
Today I am going to share an excerpt of Chapter 4 of my book- “Embracing the Gift of Parenthood: How to Create a Loving Relationship with Your Children”.
Available: Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as Xlibris.
This is just a taste of the chapter!
How to Socialize Your Child
Niki working out at the gym
It is important for children to learn how to socialize with other children. You have to give them opportunities to play with other children in a variety of situations and social settings. Structured and unstructured physical activity is crucial for the physical and emotional well-being of our children.
Chapter Five
How to Socialize Your Child
I Realize
I realize you are expecting me to love you, guide you, support you, and discipline you, with consistency and continuity. I realize I must follow through with what I proclaim to be truth, justice, integrity, and genuine love for you, so you will ultimately develop your own sense of conscious and values.
Quote:
Eda Leshan once said:
“Becoming responsible adults is no longer a matter of whether children hang up there pajamas or put dirty towels in the hamper, but whether they care about themselves and others — and whether they see everyday chores as related to how we treat this planet.”
Question:
What does it mean to discipline a child?
This is a question that the answer has an effect on basic elements of building a relationship with your child. The word discipline comes from the root: disciple- which means a student or follower of a teacher or a doctrine.
According to Webster’s Dictionary there are some interesting definitions such as: Systematic and rigorous training of the mental, moral, and physical powers by instruction and exercise; Self-control.
When I think of what the root is of the word discipline, I cannot help but feel that this is the key to the approach we should remember when we discipline our children. The foundation of discipline should be to see children in a position of following our lead or example. Discipline should not be seen as punishment. Webster’s definition lays it out very clearly and concisely. We need to think of parents and teachers as being in a position of leadership in the lives of children. This role as a leader puts a different flavor on how we view discipline. It is your responsibility to model the behavior you expect from your children. You cannot say one thing and then in responses to the world, demonstrate something inappropriate and distasteful. The most subtle behavior gives a message to the observant child. Often, we are not aware that they are hearing us or watching us out of the corner of their eyes. You would be surprised what we think we can get away with that they know all about. Just ask your child’s teacher to share some of the conversations they overhear in the dramatic play areas in a classroom, or on the playground when they are trying to impress their peers. Mommy said, “Be careful what you say and do, because it might come back to haunt you”. As parents we need to remember that we are the primary role model, and we are under constant observation.
Get ready parents, you have lost a great deal of your right to complete privacy. This parenthood profession takes us to a place where we have to evolve. More is expected of us and from us by our children and by society at large. We are no longer just responsible for ourselves. We owe it to our children to be our higher self. I’m not saying that we don’t slip from time to time, but we must work on ourselves before we work on teaching our children discipline, respect for themselves and respect for other people.
Our goal in the process of disciplining our children is to teach our children how to develop inner controls. We want them to grow into the ability to not only recognize what is and is not appropriate behavior, but to know how to manifest behavior and make decisions that are in their best interest and do not negatively affect others. I feel that we have to look at this process of disciplining children on an even broader scope.
The act of disciplining is actually the foundation of socializing a child. The process of socialization is the corner stone of whether or not we have a functional or dysfunctional society. We are and have been for some time remiss in our responsibility to socialize our children. We are so caught up in the distractions and myths of how we are to raise our children, that many children are really raising themselves. Many children are being raised by the streets. Many children are being raised by teachers, care givers, librarians, youth workers, grandparents, foster care parents, or the criminal justice system. Let me first speak to the number of children in this country, one of the wealthiest countries in the world that are homeless and parentless. This in my mind and heart is criminal. It feels like “crimes against children and families”. There is no excuse for the lack of provisions for the families in our “Great” country. How can we expect to socialize the citizens of our country when we have so many dysfunctional families? How can we expect to raise the level of productivity among our future and current citizenry, if we do not support the quality of life for families? In order for families to do their job of raising whole, healthy, and happy children that will make a positive contribution to society, we must commit to doing the following:
- Make it possible for parent education to start in elementary school.
- More access to Parent Education courses that are part of a national Planned Parent Educational Program.
- Give a tax break to all parents that take parent education courses.
- Give a tax break to all parents that attend parent conferences and volunteer at their child’s school.
- Give parental leaves with pay to parents to stay home the 1st two years of their child’ life. Mother or Father can alternate if they want to take turns.
- More affordable housing and government housing that will host a homeless family for up to 2 years. These families should then have the option to buy.
- Provide vocational programs for those individuals that are homeless so that they will get employment before they leave the housing program.
- Government and private enterprise collaborate to provide employment opportunities for those parents need jobs.
- National Universal free Early Childhood programs
- Multi-Service programs on school campuses that would offer health and welfare resources for families.
- Re-structure the school system so that it is geared towards the actual growth and development theories of Early Childhood, Middle Childhood, and Adolescence.
- Organize the time schedules of our school programs so that children can have a safe place to stay and receive academic and extra-curricular activities after the regular daily program.
When we get more proactively involved in the systems that are supposed to support us in socializing our children, families will have a better opportunity to raise more self-reliant and respectful children.
This is Niki with her dog Tinkerbell in absolute bliss and happiness. I feel that it is very important for children to grow up around animals. It is part of the socialization process. It helps to reinforce love, trust and respect.
| Chapter Five Reflection |
| Exercise: Describe the differences in the purpose of punishment in contrast to the purpose discipline when socializing children. |
| Purpose of Punishment: | Purpose of Discipline: |
| Exercise: What methods of discipline will you use to guide and nurture your child? |
