Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads#30. Waste Not, Want Not – Gratitude and Appreciation for Our Blessings. Our Children are Our Greatest Blessing!
Children are appreciative for the simple things in life!
Teaching our children to appreciate the blessings in their life is a daily lesson and opportunity to nurture the greatest character trait that will enrich the texture and context of their life.
The important thing to remember about parenting that will set the stage or foundation of our lifetime relationship with our children is realizing and practicing the communication tool that will last and be effective across the lifeline of our engagement with them. We can not just lecture them into submission or attachment to what it is we are trying to communicate to them. We have to create and nurture a special way to engage with our child so that it is safe, secure, and sacred. It is a way to impart to them the essence and importance of the wee wisdoms we have to share with them. Showing gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives, gives life a richness that permeates every aspect of our life.
We want that for our children. We want them to know what it feels like to be appreciated when they have done acts of kindness as well. We want to also show our children how they can be creative in recycling our blessings to bless other people. This might involve showing them how to share some of what they have with others. It does not hurt to teach them that words like “thank you” and “you are welcome”, are still appropriate and significant in character development.
Remember-Gratitude affects Attitude which in return determines our Altitude!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Teaching Children that Their Ideas and Opinions Matter and So Do the Ideas and Opinions of Others
This mutual respect for engaging with other children or people begins with what we model as parents in our interactions with our children and the adults in our life.
This is a lifelong skill that is needed in ever relationship we engage in. It can be a crucial factor that can make the difference in whether or not communication, respect, and the sustainability of a relationship endures or not. People want to not only be listened to, but they want to be heard and valued for what they contribute in expressing their thoughts and perspectives while engaged in a discourse-conversation-or settling and resolving a situation. We of course do not necessarily have to agree with each other but at the very least, we need to be respectful enough and secure enough, that we give others an opportunity to also be in full expression of their thoughts in a genuinely compassionate way.
I know parents get tired of me saying that they have to model this kind of behavior-trait with their children, but if not the parent, then who are we leaving this “Heart2SoulParenting” to? We cannot leave developing this important skill sets-character traits, to other people that by chance they get it in school, etc. We have to find creative opportunities to take advantage of, to bring this skill their attention and nurture it’s development.
One skill supports the development of another. When our children are confident and have an ego that is working on a healthy balance, they can receive this skill of valuing their ideas and opinions and at the same time valuing other people’s. We must find those teaching moments to bring it into their consciousness and support their understanding of how it is important. We don’t talk at them but engage them in conversational questions so that what comes through comes from within them and not from us. They need to be able to feel it, experience it, internalize it and practice it!
What excites me about this is that if our children learn this and utilize this skill or character trait in their childhood, who will they be as adults and how can they impact the world that they inherit from us. They will be the change makers! Trust me! The development of a child’s social-emotional intelligence is the foundation of every other domain that we currently give more value and importance to. Start nurturing and guiding the essence of who they are and who they have the potential to be as “human beings”, and you will be giving the most profound gift a parent can give their child!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Can you imagine how balanced we would be as adults if we were nurtured as children to enjoy our own company and know that,
“We are enough”!
It is so important as human beings to be able to know confidently that we are “good company”, and that we can really be ok, enjoying our own company. It requires that our children are given opportunities to play by themselves and engage in imaginative play activities all by themselves. It means that we nurture them in believing in themselves and knowing that there are times that they will have the choice of playing and being by themselves, and there will be times where in terms circumstances they will not have a choice and that does not have to be a challenge.
Again, we have to demonstrate our ability to be okay sitting down reading a book, putting on some music to listen to, or watch a good movie. It could be working in your garden, engaging in an artistic activity or investing your time an energy in your favorite hobby. These could be categorized as adult activities, but just seeing their parents doing fun things by themselves will hopefully inspire them to find fun things of their choice to do on their own because it makes then happy and fulfilled. It is of course important for them to have a balance between being in their own company and sharing their company with others.
We don’t want them isolating themselves or withdrawing from engaging with other people-children, because we want them to have healthy social emotional skills. We are just encouraging them to love and appreciate themselves and to carry that sense of self and grounding with them in any situation. We want them to be know that they are “Enough” because of who they are-period! “To thine own self be true” -Be their beautiful authentic divine identity. This is an important life skill for all children- children with no siblings as well as children with siblings. Another good thing about being able to be ok being and doing things alone sometimes is that it will support the need for you and your children to- “Care for Self” and be comfortable doing it!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Teaching Children How to Love and Respect Themselves in a Healthy Way!
Encouraging them to love and respect themselves is the beginning of learning to love and respect the “people who have earned their love and respect”.
Discovering the need to love and respect oneself is a huge milestone development in human beings. It requires a lot of nurturing and guidance so that the ego which fuels this “love affair with self” is in balance and is healthy. We are not trying to nurture narcissism so that our children end up having an unhealthy relationship with them selves and cannot engage in a healthy relationship with other people. Children first learn their value, importance to the village, and what love and respect looks like and feels like, from their parents. We have to realize that the way in which we relate to our children sets the stage for development in many areas of their life.
Loving and respecting oneself is the basic foundation for every other domain of our being. It supports every aspect of our life’s experience. If it is not in tack, it can negatively impact us when we need that sense of “divine identity” to support us when we face challenges in life. It is important to find ways on a daily basis to validate our children, but it must be authentic! Children know when we are being earnest and when we are not. We model that gentility and tenderness that is distinctive to who we are as parents. Because we love our children so deeply, it is effortless to show them love and respect and to expect other people to do the same. Unfortunately, it does not work that way.
The world is not going to treat or care for our children the way we do nor the way their “village” does and so this is why it is vital that we are work diligently to guide, nurture and protect their self-love and self-esteem. I suggest that we create little affirmations that they can learn and become a daily ritual for them-possible for life! As a parent to this day, I can feel when my daughter needs a little affirmation and I text her one of our special affirmations. It is also a special connection between the two of us! We all need each other’s support in grounding us through this ever-changing upside-down world.
These are my little suggestions to get you started in creating your own:
I am love and I am loved.
I can safely share my feelings with my parents and my village.
I deserve to be happy, but it is ok to feel sad, mad, and afraid when I feel that way.
I am a beautiful person in my heart, my mind, and body.
I am perfect just the way I am because I am myself.
I am patient and kind with other people as I want others to be with me.
Sometimes people try to hurt my feelings, but I refuse to let their pain hurt me.
I am smart, creative, and gifted.
I can do anything I put my mind to that brings me joy and a feeling of accomplishment.
I am compassionate and generous of spirit.
I am grateful and appreciative for all the beautiful things in my life.
I am empowered by my divine spirit to be the best version of my highest self -my authentic self.Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.Stay in Touch: http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/
Intentionally Guiding Children Away from the “ME, Myself, and I” Societal Syndrome
It is important to surround our children with people, who have an ego that is in “Check”.
It is really kind of synchronistic because just this morning on social media there was a discussion from a terrorized citizen, who had an encounter with a driver who almost hit her, and his response was to laugh at her. That was offensive enough but to read the comments of some of the people on the platform degrading her and pushing the blame of the situation on her and not the driver, validated my response to the post:
There is so much rage and loss of civility in this country now, that going out of your home every day has become fear driven. Our nation has lost sight of being lawful, being courteous, being compassionate, and being patient with one another. We have evolved into a society of ME, MYSELF, and I beings and our humanity is on the verge of extinction!
We as parents and caregivers of children have a huge responsibility to be intentional about nurturing healthy development of our children’s ego. We must be intentional about demonstrating ourselves that we are human beings that are sensitive and aware of the wellbeing of other people. We have to use discernment in engaging our children with adults and children who have a similar value system that is reflected in our family.
This does not mean that they will only engage with children and adults that are kind and thoughtful, and perhaps even have similar values to your family, but remember you are intentionally formulating a village to support you and your children in nurturing and guiding the character development of your children. You want to cultivate the kind of character in your child that reflects their highest self and elicits as a result only the best relationships, opportunities, and experiences for your child. The joys of “Parenthood”!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Bonding Siblings but Acknowledging Individual Identities-
These little guys will be bonded as loving brothers forever.
Their relationship has been solidified by the way in which their parents are modeling for them and nurturing their interactions and engagements with each other.
We as parents play a critical role in how our children interact with one another. We do by our behavior also demonstrate how to show that we love, honor and respect each other. It is a daily task to find ways of calling to their attention that as siblings they have a special relationship with each other that is different from any other relationship they will have the blessing to hold near and dear.
It means that we call to their attention when they are not being loving and caring to each other and engage them in expressing what it feels like to not be treated kindly, and what it feels like to not treat someone kindly. I believe in using their mishaps as an opportunity to reflect and talk things through. There is no other time in our human condition that we have the chance to learn “how to be human”.
We must infuse in their understanding of each other that as siblings we are attached not just because we may have the same parents or parent, but because we were gifted to each other. We must nurture them being attentive and responsive to one another. We must show them that being siblings requires being loving, patient, compassionate, and trustworthy. We must bring to light the elements of their divine identity that are similar, and what is different but unique about each other.
Can it be that what makes them different from each other is actually what complements the essence of the other? Can it be that recognizing all these elements of each child’s character -personality, is what is needed to balance and support the sibling connective relationship? Can they actually enjoy and receive the essence of their fellow sibling’s personage to the point that they unlike anyone else in their life, other than their parents, actually catch and see the authentic spirit of each other? Is it this essence that they fall in love with and what perpetuates what can be an eternal relationship?
This sibling relationship can be so divinely ethereal that at times they can communicate without words or physical presence. Parents have an opportunity to care and nurture this sibling relationship development, from the very beginning. When I say beginning, I mean from the womb. It is important for the child-children that will be gifted a sibling, begin to be part of the whole birthing experience. Daily talks to mommy’s tummy included. Talk! Read them stories! Let them see your sonograms!
Make a “Big Brother’s-Big Sister’s” plan of action. Inclusion! Inclusion! Inclusion! Guide them in being happy for each other’s accomplishments, and make sure that praise and recognition is always balanced! Do not cultivate jealousy and envy between them. Let them feel an appropriate and healthy sense of care and responsibility for each other. They have “each other’s back” in this chaotic world. Be intentional in creating situations and events that will elicit “good memories”!
P.S.
I know that this is a cultural bias, but I feel it is important for young children to share a bedroom with each other. I think my most favorite and long-lasting memories I have of my childhood is when my dad converted our attic into our bedroom. Four of the five siblings had to share that bedroom. The things we did and the adventures we had at night when we were suppose to be asleep in bed-well they were filled with mischief that bonded us as a “tight clan”!
We each had our own little corner of the room that was decorated specifically to our individual taste, but the center of the room, was our gathering point-when we were not sitting on each other’s bed or cuddling with each other through nightmares or a storm. I would not trade the “Attic” for anything! When we became teenagers, we got our own room or a room we shared. That brought things to the “brotherhood” and “sisterhood” stage. To this day, we as siblings love, honor, and respect each other. It is such a special relationship and so much so, friends say they wish they were part of our “sibling clan”!
Are They Really Picky Kids or Kids of Discernment?
Celio has a very discerning palate and is very particular about what he does and does not like! It makes him who is he-authentic living!
It is important for us as parents to acknowledge what does and does not resonant with our children. Each one, no matter how many children are in the family, will express themselves and their likes and dislikes differently and of course they will not necessarily like the same things. So take note! They seem to come with a certain essence about them that little by little is revealed in their interactions with their family, family environment, other relations, and friends.
They need to have the latitude and freedom to tell us what they like and dislike. They need the safety net that will make them feel that we are willing to give them the space and respect to be their authentic self. There is the saying, “pick your battles”, and this really applies to parenting. If we create a relationship with our children that is crafted on battling with them about everything, we will never be able to engage them in a collaborative and sustainable parent-child healthy relationship.
There will be times that we as parents have to make a choice for them when it involves their safety and wellbeing. Even then, however, it is important to talk to our children about “why”, we are making the choice we are making. I feel that this supports children in being able to utilize their innate gift of discernment when making their own important and difficult decisions. There is so much modeling of behavior in the art of parenting. Parenting it is a lot of work grounded in acute observational skills, patience, unconditional love, void of judgement, full of grace, and being gentle with ourselves, if we are to sustain this eternal relationship.
Now I want to assure you that all of our engagement with our children is not just nurturing and guiding them! There has to be a balance so that we also know how to be playful, and joy filled spirits around them! We don’t want to be heavy weighted energies around them, so that we stifle the joy, excitement, and exploration, of their sacred “childhood”! Actually, it is kind of funny to watch what they come up with in terms of their likes and dislikes. Remember, they are not “picky”, they just know what fits and resonates them.
P.S.
And why we are in the “allowing space” to make time and room for them to express their likes and dislikes-their preference- we model for them how to do so being respectful to themselves and respectful to us as their parents.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Under normal circumstances, children have big, open, loving hearts that are receptive of engaging with other children and adults from a “heart space”!
When we have the privileged of nurturing the unconditional loving heart of a child, it is imperative that we are intentional about developing good self-esteem in our children so that to begin with, they know that they are worthy of relationships that are gentle in nature, respectful, and cognizant of who they are. Everyone is challenged at some point in their life in terms of ‘Feeling good” about themselves as they navigate through life and encounter people and situations that test our ability to ward off negativity. Our children are vulnerable as they embark on this journey of “learning life” and “learning the nature and character” of other people.
I have found in my experience with children, that making friends with other children is by far more challenging for them, then relating to adults. I don’t think, other than parents and family, that children are as concerned about their relationship with adults. Children expect us to validate them and demonstrate in both words and actions how we feel about them. Children, I really hate to say, can be “mean spirited” and even perpetrate acts of bullying on other children they feel empowered over.
It has become a crisis in this country and must be addressed seriously. We must empower our children to know who they are and deflect anything other children-even adults- might say to dehumanize them. We can’t allow anyone to steal our child-children’s joy and self-knowledge from them. We must give them the tools to combat this negative battery that might come “at” them when they least expect it. There must be clear boundaries!
So many times, I have witnessed our children, who are just “pure love” encounter other children that think it is ok to either physically or verbally attack their “Sweet Spirits”. We have given them the protocol to come directly to us or the adults in charge and “speak their truth about what they have experienced”. We have grounded them in knowing who and what they are in connection to their “divine identities”.
Ua will respond to anyone that tries to offend him or hurt him that “I am a child of God”! We did not tell him to say this, he knows it intuitively and has no fear in responding with “His truth of who he is”! I might add that it throws the other child off! They just sort of look at him and go away.
We have a responsibility to ensure that our children develop healthy loving relationships and that the children theychose to engage with are worthy of them. Remember that we are their models of how to live and be in the world, so they are mindful of who we engage with and how we are treated by other people. The commitment to worthiness begins with us!
Parenting Tips:
So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize how intricately you are connected to this life that has been brought on to this planet that has its own unique and “Divined Identity” and “Divined Purpose. May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are your journey through parenthood, and what you are not only gifting humanity, but how the life of your child is a blessing to you, and how you are a blessing to your child.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Communication Cues- Between Parent and the Child and Family Members and the Child.
There are so many codes of communication in a family structure.
The original language and code for communicating between parent and child actually starts in the womb. It is a sacred language that is eternal and somehow no matter where the parent and child is there is communication being transmitted on a primal and intuitive vibrational wavelength. Things are felt and communicated without a word being said.
I always recommend that both parents communicate with the child during pregnancy, and that if there are siblings, they to talk to the baby that is developing in the womb as well. I know from experience that babies hear those voices and begin to develop a knowingness and connection with those special voices that reach out to them. The words we use, the tone we use, the texture of our voices, are felt and responded to.
We as family members have an opportunity to create a “family language or code” that is unique to our family. It is the language of protection. It is the language of feelings and emotions. It is the language of physical needs. It is the language of approval and acceptance. It is the language of “love”. There are different parts to this language that we use to communicate with each other. There are physical words. There are facial expressions. There is body language. There is the intuitive language that we tune into even when we are not physically present with one another.
This is the language that supports a “safe space” for children to express themselves and know that they will be heard, felt, and responded to. This language is timeless and bonds the family in ways that cannot be explained but can be felt. It offers a unique sense of security that follows us into adulthood. The words might evolve, but the overall texture and validity of its importance and relevance in our lives never diminishes. I know when my daughter is anxious or drained from the weight of her job. I can feel it without seeing her or talking to her. She knows when something is troubling me. It is embedded in our “Love language”.
Families that practice this “Love language”, have the strength to meet the challenges of this world, because they know that they are not facing anything alone! The real beauty of this practice is that as it evolves, it only becomes richer in its ability to go on a deeper more spiritual context. What I have found is that over the years as my friends have engaged in our family, they have been drawn to the way we love and care for each other. We have been able to share who we are because of how we were raised in this “Love language”.
Each family must create, design, and manifest the “Love language” that speaks to who they are and who they want to be. Every family is unique and how they communicate with each other must fit the construct of their family dynamics. It will be different for each family but just as meaningful and rewarding for those that engage in that language and commit to it. I bet if you reflect on it, you too have a special line of communication that is used in your family. Seek out the cues of communication and rejuvenate it! Besides the serious part of this, it can also be fun to have a secret sacred way to communicate and relate to each other with.
Parenting Tips:
So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize how intricately you are connected to this life that you have brought on to this planet that has its own unique and “Divined Identity” and “Divined Purpose. May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are your journey through parenthood, and what you are not only gifting humanity, but how the life of your child is a blessing to you, and how you are a blessing to your child.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Our Children-Navigating the Impact of Social- Media in Their Daily Lives.
Our children must be protected and guided in what we expose them to in this world of technology that has infused itself into every aspect of our life.
It is such a different world for our children today. In my childhood we were not bombarded by cell phones, computers, ipads, smart televisions and oh the internet that connects us to everything and everyone across the global. This “open” platform of communication requires so much scrutiny and guidelines. Each family must make conscious and deliberate decisions for themselves as to what they will expose their children to. It is a personal decision and must be reflective of the cultural values ofeach family.
My concern is that children have to be protected from being subjected to content, people, and situations that are not appropriate and even dangerous to their wellbeing. There are so many hidden messages that can be infused in the materials that claim they are child and age appropriate. I don’t take any chances! I strongly suggest that parents view everything they allow their children to engage with beforehand. I strongly suggest that parents set up parameters of what they watch andengage with on all technological devices.
The internet must be carefully monitored with very clear guidelines of what content and how much time our children can have access to the internet. We have to start out the way we want to end up. Children must have clarity of our expectations. No mixed messages and inconsistencies with children. We are guiding children to use their own discernment in making choices with and without us. This is where we also engage in conversation on why we have made the decisions we have made on their behalf. Things must be clear and concise.
Remember- YOU ARE THE PARENT. You are the responsible adult and the love you have for your child guides your course of action in all things that have to do with your child’s wellbeing. I believe the saying that “we are in this world but not of this world” applies to how we must raise our children. We don’t hand our most precious gift over to the whims of world! We protect their innocence, curiosity, and wonderment!
P.S.
I would like to share that I recommend that we as parents and grandparents are intentional about creating balance in our children’s life. It is vital that children have a balance between time engaged in technology, academics, free play-inside and outside, and family time. Children need time to explore and experiment with their imagination and creativity and nothing ignites this like play! Pure, uninhibited, authentic, uninterrupted adult interference, Just—give them space to PLAY!!
My New Book to Be Released-End of 2026 -Beginning of 2027
“The Global Covenant to Protect the Sacred Lives of Children in a World of Technology and AI.”
Parenting Tips:
So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize how intricately you are connected to this life that you have brought on to this planet that has its own unique and “Divined Identity” and “Divined Purpose. May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are your journey through parenthood, and what you are not only gifting humanity, but how the life of your child is a blessing to you, and how you are a blessing to your child.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
