I love it when they are being their authentic selves!
Teaching Children the Value and Reasoning Behind Speaking the Truth and Holding On To Their Truth as a Sacred Element of their Divine Identity
Children come into this realm with the real divine truth that is grounded in their intuition.
I don’t know if you can reach back to the memory base of your childhood to rekindle the information that you had from your conceptual development. The knowledge of universal truths that were ingrained in your “Divine Identity”- your beautiful authentic human form that we know is comprised of so many dimensions. Incapsulated in “Who” you are carries with it a spiritual dimension that is comprised of all the truths of our human design. It is carried from the infusion of our complex DNA, that is not by chance but by design. We are in fact more than what can be seen and expressed on a physical plane.
If our parents were aware of what we carried from our birth, I think they would value the importance of the “welcoming committee”. In many of our indigenous cultures, there is an actual gathering of the family and community, at the birth of a child in their “Beloved Village”. There is an anticipation of receiving gifts of truth, love, and validation, that the “Divine Spirit” has arrived and has come to bless humanity.
We then have the responsibility of acknowledging the truths that our children share with us, and to guide, protect, and nurture the relevance and purpose of “their truth”. We must support them in holding on to “their truth”, in the face of all the challenges this world will throw at them. We prepare them for the neigh Sayers and those that will fear the truth they profess.
We want to encourage them to be true to themselves in all situations in life. We want them to be confident that what they bring to the world is of value and by design. They must know their life has purpose through the “Truth” they carry.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Awakening and Nurturing the Behavioral Characteristics in Your Child that Will Serve them, Their Family, and Society as Well!
I believe the way in which we raise our children lays the foundation for much of who they are to become in life so that it is critical that we pay attention to their character development that is manifested in their behavior. It requires that we are intentional with guiding and nurturing.
It seems like there is a kind of theme being created in these “Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads”, and I do believe there is. When you think of our responsibility as parents, a large part of what we are responsible for is nurturing, guiding, and disciplining our children. This role that we take on as parents involves modeling and supporting what we know as adults will be most beneficial to the well-being, happiness, personal success, and health of our children as adults.
Let me interject that the term “discipline” is not something negative but is in fact derived from the word disciple -which means to follow. That is therefore the act of modeling what is appropriate, good, wholesome, just, compassionate, truthful, loving, kind, and the ability to show grace and understanding to others. It calls us as parents to work daily and sometimes what might seem tirelessly, to be our higher self. It is not only unrealistic to think that we can be our “highest selves” all the time, and it is important to assure our children that we don’t expect that of them in turn.
We show them that there are times we -as our elders use to say- “Are outside of ourselves”, and that we have to use the “re-set button” sometimes to “Come back to ourselves”. We are not perfection, and we don’t expect that of our children. We are merely trying to make sure that they have the tools they will need to be “Happy, Healthy, and Whole”, in their life.
This world that they are facing is not what we expected and as “Indigo” children, it is not what they dreamed for! They will have challenges that will require that they are strong in their convictions, and that the principles of those convictions, will be grounded in what is ethical, moral, and just. Stepping away from all the ideological chaos and distractions, we know on a deeper spiritual level, what is right and what is wrong. We know what is just and unjust! We know what is judgmental and what is not! We know what is truth and what are bare face lies!
We have to show our children that the tool of discernment is a vital gift to protect them. We want them to be contributing members of society that will help in re-directing this world into the world that they had dreamed for. Yes, we have work to do as parents, but it is so worth it! In guiding our children through the maze of childhood, the side benefit for us is that we are also awakened to those behavioral characteristics that could serve us better.
Those aspects of ourselves that we allowed to be diminished by other people or circumstances in life. This affords us the opportunity to be re-birthed into our own “divine identity” and as a result our children benefit from who we are in our authentic selves.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Guiding Children into Becoming Compassionate Human Beings!
Teaching and modeling compassion for our children is a critical element of parenting and it is a critical social emotional development to express in the sustainability of humanity.
It is so interesting to see children express compassion for other children. I witnessed it so many times on the playground in Pre-school, when a child would fall and hurt themselves and then all of a sudden be surrounded by their fellow playmates. It is amazing how children respond to be attended to be their peers.
I have been fortunate enough to witness it between the siblings in our family, actually from childhood throughout our adulthood. I believe that once it is recognized and nurtured, it can be a lifetime characteristic that is expressed throughout a person’s life. This ability to be concerned and empathetic to the conditions of others is definitely, by today’s human relations scale the elevation of an “evolved human being. We want this for our children. We want them to authentically and genuinely express compassion for others when it is called for. We want for our children to receive compassion from other people when they are in need of being cared for by others.
We want our children to know how to have a balance being compassionate and at the same time make sure they take care of themselves and are not being emotionally drained. We want them to be okay with taking personal responsibility for any of their actions that might have caused another person to be hurt either physically or emotionally. Processing through the situation will hopefully help our children understand what it feels like to be hurtful and acknowledge that they don’t want to feel pain and distress inflicted by others in turn.
I feel it is important to genuinely apologies for negative behavior inflicted on another person. So yes-it is important to say – “I’m sorry” and the child actually mean it. As a child however, compassion has to be nurtured and guided into manifestation. Knowing the general intuitive nature of children, I know that they naturally gravitate toward being compassionate.
We just have to support them in learning when and how to demonstrate it. I find that play time with their peers affords lots of opportunities for “teaching moments”! More opportunities for us to be observant and knowing when and how to intercede. Gently and non-aggressive in texture works most profoundly! There will also be lots of trial and errors to figure out what works with each child.
Parenting Tips:
So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize how intricately you are connected to this life that has been brought on to this planet that has its own unique and “Divined Identity” and “Divined Purpose. May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are your journey through parenthood, and what you are not only gifting humanity, but how the life of your child is a blessing to you, and how you are a blessing to your child.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads#30. Waste Not, Want Not – Gratitude and Appreciation for Our Blessings. Our Children are Our Greatest Blessing!
Children are appreciative for the simple things in life!
Teaching our children to appreciate the blessings in their life is a daily lesson and opportunity to nurture the greatest character trait that will enrich the texture and context of their life.
The important thing to remember about parenting that will set the stage or foundation of our lifetime relationship with our children is realizing and practicing the communication tool that will last and be effective across the lifeline of our engagement with them. We can not just lecture them into submission or attachment to what it is we are trying to communicate to them. We have to create and nurture a special way to engage with our child so that it is safe, secure, and sacred. It is a way to impart to them the essence and importance of the wee wisdoms we have to share with them. Showing gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives, gives life a richness that permeates every aspect of our life.
We want that for our children. We want them to know what it feels like to be appreciated when they have done acts of kindness as well. We want to also show our children how they can be creative in recycling our blessings to bless other people. This might involve showing them how to share some of what they have with others. It does not hurt to teach them that words like “thank you” and “you are welcome”, are still appropriate and significant in character development.
Remember-Gratitude affects Attitude which in return determines our Altitude!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Teaching Children that Their Ideas and Opinions Matter and So Do the Ideas and Opinions of Others
This mutual respect for engaging with other children or people begins with what we model as parents in our interactions with our children and the adults in our life.
This is a lifelong skill that is needed in ever relationship we engage in. It can be a crucial factor that can make the difference in whether or not communication, respect, and the sustainability of a relationship endures or not. People want to not only be listened to, but they want to be heard and valued for what they contribute in expressing their thoughts and perspectives while engaged in a discourse-conversation-or settling and resolving a situation. We of course do not necessarily have to agree with each other but at the very least, we need to be respectful enough and secure enough, that we give others an opportunity to also be in full expression of their thoughts in a genuinely compassionate way.
I know parents get tired of me saying that they have to model this kind of behavior-trait with their children, but if not the parent, then who are we leaving this “Heart2SoulParenting” to? We cannot leave developing this important skill sets-character traits, to other people that by chance they get it in school, etc. We have to find creative opportunities to take advantage of, to bring this skill their attention and nurture it’s development.
One skill supports the development of another. When our children are confident and have an ego that is working on a healthy balance, they can receive this skill of valuing their ideas and opinions and at the same time valuing other people’s. We must find those teaching moments to bring it into their consciousness and support their understanding of how it is important. We don’t talk at them but engage them in conversational questions so that what comes through comes from within them and not from us. They need to be able to feel it, experience it, internalize it and practice it!
What excites me about this is that if our children learn this and utilize this skill or character trait in their childhood, who will they be as adults and how can they impact the world that they inherit from us. They will be the change makers! Trust me! The development of a child’s social-emotional intelligence is the foundation of every other domain that we currently give more value and importance to. Start nurturing and guiding the essence of who they are and who they have the potential to be as “human beings”, and you will be giving the most profound gift a parent can give their child!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Can you imagine how balanced we would be as adults if we were nurtured as children to enjoy our own company and know that,
“We are enough”!
It is so important as human beings to be able to know confidently that we are “good company”, and that we can really be ok, enjoying our own company. It requires that our children are given opportunities to play by themselves and engage in imaginative play activities all by themselves. It means that we nurture them in believing in themselves and knowing that there are times that they will have the choice of playing and being by themselves, and there will be times where in terms circumstances they will not have a choice and that does not have to be a challenge.
Again, we have to demonstrate our ability to be okay sitting down reading a book, putting on some music to listen to, or watch a good movie. It could be working in your garden, engaging in an artistic activity or investing your time an energy in your favorite hobby. These could be categorized as adult activities, but just seeing their parents doing fun things by themselves will hopefully inspire them to find fun things of their choice to do on their own because it makes then happy and fulfilled. It is of course important for them to have a balance between being in their own company and sharing their company with others.
We don’t want them isolating themselves or withdrawing from engaging with other people-children, because we want them to have healthy social emotional skills. We are just encouraging them to love and appreciate themselves and to carry that sense of self and grounding with them in any situation. We want them to be know that they are “Enough” because of who they are-period! “To thine own self be true” -Be their beautiful authentic divine identity. This is an important life skill for all children- children with no siblings as well as children with siblings. Another good thing about being able to be ok being and doing things alone sometimes is that it will support the need for you and your children to- “Care for Self” and be comfortable doing it!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Teaching Children How to Love and Respect Themselves in a Healthy Way!
Encouraging them to love and respect themselves is the beginning of learning to love and respect the “people who have earned their love and respect”.
Discovering the need to love and respect oneself is a huge milestone development in human beings. It requires a lot of nurturing and guidance so that the ego which fuels this “love affair with self” is in balance and is healthy. We are not trying to nurture narcissism so that our children end up having an unhealthy relationship with them selves and cannot engage in a healthy relationship with other people. Children first learn their value, importance to the village, and what love and respect looks like and feels like, from their parents. We have to realize that the way in which we relate to our children sets the stage for development in many areas of their life.
Loving and respecting oneself is the basic foundation for every other domain of our being. It supports every aspect of our life’s experience. If it is not in tack, it can negatively impact us when we need that sense of “divine identity” to support us when we face challenges in life. It is important to find ways on a daily basis to validate our children, but it must be authentic! Children know when we are being earnest and when we are not. We model that gentility and tenderness that is distinctive to who we are as parents. Because we love our children so deeply, it is effortless to show them love and respect and to expect other people to do the same. Unfortunately, it does not work that way.
The world is not going to treat or care for our children the way we do nor the way their “village” does and so this is why it is vital that we are work diligently to guide, nurture and protect their self-love and self-esteem. I suggest that we create little affirmations that they can learn and become a daily ritual for them-possible for life! As a parent to this day, I can feel when my daughter needs a little affirmation and I text her one of our special affirmations. It is also a special connection between the two of us! We all need each other’s support in grounding us through this ever-changing upside-down world.
These are my little suggestions to get you started in creating your own:
I am love and I am loved.
I can safely share my feelings with my parents and my village.
I deserve to be happy, but it is ok to feel sad, mad, and afraid when I feel that way.
I am a beautiful person in my heart, my mind, and body.
I am perfect just the way I am because I am myself.
I am patient and kind with other people as I want others to be with me.
Sometimes people try to hurt my feelings, but I refuse to let their pain hurt me.
I am smart, creative, and gifted.
I can do anything I put my mind to that brings me joy and a feeling of accomplishment.
I am compassionate and generous of spirit.
I am grateful and appreciative for all the beautiful things in my life.
I am empowered by my divine spirit to be the best version of my highest self -my authentic self.Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.Stay in Touch: http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/
Intentionally Guiding Children Away from the “ME, Myself, and I” Societal Syndrome
It is important to surround our children with people, who have an ego that is in “Check”.
It is really kind of synchronistic because just this morning on social media there was a discussion from a terrorized citizen, who had an encounter with a driver who almost hit her, and his response was to laugh at her. That was offensive enough but to read the comments of some of the people on the platform degrading her and pushing the blame of the situation on her and not the driver, validated my response to the post:
There is so much rage and loss of civility in this country now, that going out of your home every day has become fear driven. Our nation has lost sight of being lawful, being courteous, being compassionate, and being patient with one another. We have evolved into a society of ME, MYSELF, and I beings and our humanity is on the verge of extinction!
We as parents and caregivers of children have a huge responsibility to be intentional about nurturing healthy development of our children’s ego. We must be intentional about demonstrating ourselves that we are human beings that are sensitive and aware of the wellbeing of other people. We have to use discernment in engaging our children with adults and children who have a similar value system that is reflected in our family.
This does not mean that they will only engage with children and adults that are kind and thoughtful, and perhaps even have similar values to your family, but remember you are intentionally formulating a village to support you and your children in nurturing and guiding the character development of your children. You want to cultivate the kind of character in your child that reflects their highest self and elicits as a result only the best relationships, opportunities, and experiences for your child. The joys of “Parenthood”!
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
Bonding Siblings but Acknowledging Individual Identities-
These little guys will be bonded as loving brothers forever.
Their relationship has been solidified by the way in which their parents are modeling for them and nurturing their interactions and engagements with each other.
We as parents play a critical role in how our children interact with one another. We do by our behavior also demonstrate how to show that we love, honor and respect each other. It is a daily task to find ways of calling to their attention that as siblings they have a special relationship with each other that is different from any other relationship they will have the blessing to hold near and dear.
It means that we call to their attention when they are not being loving and caring to each other and engage them in expressing what it feels like to not be treated kindly, and what it feels like to not treat someone kindly. I believe in using their mishaps as an opportunity to reflect and talk things through. There is no other time in our human condition that we have the chance to learn “how to be human”.
We must infuse in their understanding of each other that as siblings we are attached not just because we may have the same parents or parent, but because we were gifted to each other. We must nurture them being attentive and responsive to one another. We must show them that being siblings requires being loving, patient, compassionate, and trustworthy. We must bring to light the elements of their divine identity that are similar, and what is different but unique about each other.
Can it be that what makes them different from each other is actually what complements the essence of the other? Can it be that recognizing all these elements of each child’s character -personality, is what is needed to balance and support the sibling connective relationship? Can they actually enjoy and receive the essence of their fellow sibling’s personage to the point that they unlike anyone else in their life, other than their parents, actually catch and see the authentic spirit of each other? Is it this essence that they fall in love with and what perpetuates what can be an eternal relationship?
This sibling relationship can be so divinely ethereal that at times they can communicate without words or physical presence. Parents have an opportunity to care and nurture this sibling relationship development, from the very beginning. When I say beginning, I mean from the womb. It is important for the child-children that will be gifted a sibling, begin to be part of the whole birthing experience. Daily talks to mommy’s tummy included. Talk! Read them stories! Let them see your sonograms!
Make a “Big Brother’s-Big Sister’s” plan of action. Inclusion! Inclusion! Inclusion! Guide them in being happy for each other’s accomplishments, and make sure that praise and recognition is always balanced! Do not cultivate jealousy and envy between them. Let them feel an appropriate and healthy sense of care and responsibility for each other. They have “each other’s back” in this chaotic world. Be intentional in creating situations and events that will elicit “good memories”!
P.S.
I know that this is a cultural bias, but I feel it is important for young children to share a bedroom with each other. I think my most favorite and long-lasting memories I have of my childhood is when my dad converted our attic into our bedroom. Four of the five siblings had to share that bedroom. The things we did and the adventures we had at night when we were suppose to be asleep in bed-well they were filled with mischief that bonded us as a “tight clan”!
We each had our own little corner of the room that was decorated specifically to our individual taste, but the center of the room, was our gathering point-when we were not sitting on each other’s bed or cuddling with each other through nightmares or a storm. I would not trade the “Attic” for anything! When we became teenagers, we got our own room or a room we shared. That brought things to the “brotherhood” and “sisterhood” stage. To this day, we as siblings love, honor, and respect each other. It is such a special relationship and so much so, friends say they wish they were part of our “sibling clan”!
Are They Really Picky Kids or Kids of Discernment?
Celio has a very discerning palate and is very particular about what he does and does not like! It makes him who is he-authentic living!
It is important for us as parents to acknowledge what does and does not resonant with our children. Each one, no matter how many children are in the family, will express themselves and their likes and dislikes differently and of course they will not necessarily like the same things. So take note! They seem to come with a certain essence about them that little by little is revealed in their interactions with their family, family environment, other relations, and friends.
They need to have the latitude and freedom to tell us what they like and dislike. They need the safety net that will make them feel that we are willing to give them the space and respect to be their authentic self. There is the saying, “pick your battles”, and this really applies to parenting. If we create a relationship with our children that is crafted on battling with them about everything, we will never be able to engage them in a collaborative and sustainable parent-child healthy relationship.
There will be times that we as parents have to make a choice for them when it involves their safety and wellbeing. Even then, however, it is important to talk to our children about “why”, we are making the choice we are making. I feel that this supports children in being able to utilize their innate gift of discernment when making their own important and difficult decisions. There is so much modeling of behavior in the art of parenting. Parenting it is a lot of work grounded in acute observational skills, patience, unconditional love, void of judgement, full of grace, and being gentle with ourselves, if we are to sustain this eternal relationship.
Now I want to assure you that all of our engagement with our children is not just nurturing and guiding them! There has to be a balance so that we also know how to be playful, and joy filled spirits around them! We don’t want to be heavy weighted energies around them, so that we stifle the joy, excitement, and exploration, of their sacred “childhood”! Actually, it is kind of funny to watch what they come up with in terms of their likes and dislikes. Remember, they are not “picky”, they just know what fits and resonates them.
P.S.
And why we are in the “allowing space” to make time and room for them to express their likes and dislikes-their preference- we model for them how to do so being respectful to themselves and respectful to us as their parents.
Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.
