Category: Embracing the Gift of Parenthood

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads #19

Parenting is Team-Work and Everybody has to be on the Same Page to Avoid “Mix Messages”.

I sincerely feel that it takes a village or a tribe of trusted souls to raise our children!

I could never have been the parent I am to my child without the love and support of my loving family and friends that constitute a vital part of my “Life Community”- I had the luxury of being endowed with a “Beloved Community” that has been there for me and my child, throughout our lives.  Many of these people shared my life from childhood into adulthood.  It is important to surround yourself with family members and friends that have shared values that align with yours.  It does not mean that every time a situation comes up where advise is needed, that everyone will have the same opinion.

Discussion and reflection must go into the task of guiding and nurturing our children.  The important thing is to stand firm on  the process of trying to make any decision that concerns the child or children, and that this discussion is done void of the children’s involvement until there is a united front to engage with them.  Children are by their very nature not able to deal with the confusion of mixed messages from adults.  Children see things in black and white.  There are no shades that come with the status of being an adult and seeing the world through a crazy upside down, inside out lens that pushes things out of reason and alignment.

Children see things for what they are, and we need to respond accordingly!  Children are secure when the guidepost are clear and consistent. We need to be confident in what we are saying and doing with them and for them.  It does not mean that we will not make mistakes, but what children need is a united front, consistency, and follow-through.  We then must have a process by which we engage with them so that we demonstrate how to reason through situations and learn how to make sound decisions.

The united front is important with children because part of their development is to test the waters with “manipulation”.  We know as adults that there are situations where we are called to manipulate the elements of a situation in order to do what is in our best interest and sometimes the best interest of others, but what we don’t want to support, and nurture is a character trait of manipulation.  We want them to have the skill set to evaluate when it is appropriate to intercede in a situation and influence the factors so that the outcome of whatever, is safe and ethical.

What we don’t want them to embrace and develop is the character trait of using manipulation to “get what they want” at the expense of others or what is right and ethical.  It is a real balancing act in trying to ascertain when to “call them out “and guide them away from this when it becomes a “behavior” instead of a “skill”.  As they get older and more age appropriately mature, we can guide them away from manipulation and into a more arbitrational skill set.  There are so many other skill sets that can evolve from this life lesson.

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

Stay in Touch:                                                          http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads-#18

Quote: Elizabeth Stone: Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.

***For translation of the text of the blog: touch the Blue Globe on the top right-hand corner.

We have to enjoy each and every moment we have with them!  The love is priceless!

 A call to all parents!  Take hold of the treasure you have in your mist!  The time really does go so quickly that affords us an opportunity to be influencers in their life and to be able to be drenched ourselves in the beauty and magic of their childhood.  It is a gift that no matter where they are or what they are doing, the fact that we are their parents calls us to engages in their life as a lifetime commitment.

I am by no means saying that there are not challenges in raising our children!  We take on challenges on a daily basis!  Every time they get sick, we have to rise to the situation to hopefully avoid a major illness.  We wear our hearts on our sleeves when they go off to school because it seems that we have no safeguards in place that we can count on.

I know that these are strange times, and we don’t want to buy into the fear and apprehension that seems to be running our lives, but we have to protect our children.  Part of that protection plan is based in us creating and nurturing a strong, open, and receptive relationship with our children.  If we want to be able to interface in their lives for the long haul, the relationship has to grow and evolve so that it encompasses a mutually respectful, loving, and caring essence.

This is a love relationship that is different from any other relationship you will ever have.  It is sacred and intimate in texture.  It is boundless in courage and tenacity.  I have witnessed parents do some absolutely amazing things when their child needs help in the face of danger.  I understand the power of this parental love for their child.

I will always be there for my child, who now is a full-grown woman, but she knows without a doubt, that I will always have here back whether in the flesh or in the “Spirit”!  Be love for your child!  Be courageous for your child!  Be righteous for your child! Let them feel the strength and power of your presence in their life.  Let them know that it is a mutually accountable relationship!  Like Mommy always said. “You are my child, and I will always love you even if there are times, I don’t like your ways”! My Mommy would tell us when we were right and let us know when we were wrong.

That love has kept me on my “Divine Purpose” and entrenched in my “Divine Identity”, because “She saw me”.  Have you taken out the time to “see” your child?  You are the one that ignites their conscious! You have been divinely chosen to be their parent!

So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize something that brings you back into homeostasis with your soul expression.  May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are and what you are gifting humanity.

Ashé! Have a Blessed Day!

**Note: These recordings are based on my blog writings, and all of this comes through Spirit.  The recordings are a reflection of the writings and are not edited because I do not want to alter what is coming to me through “Great Spirit”.  I am not seeking perfection, only serving as a vessel to bring love, peace, and joy, to our humanity.

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

Stay in Touch:                                                          http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads-#17

What Children See and What They Hear Dictates So Much of How They Respond to Life and Their World!

“I come into the world discovering all the beauty and wonder the world has to offer me”.

In my mind and in my heart, I want to hold on to what I know is the truth of what the world can be for me and all the other children in the world.”

This week I blogged on the disease that afflicts the soul of mankind-racism and all the other isms that historically society has created to divide us from one another.  Today I want to sensitize parents to how crucial our behavior is in teaching and modeling for our children.  I spoke to the fact that children are not born with these destructive elements in their character but are taught to be racist and judgmental of others by what they are exposed to environmentally.  We as parents and care givers of children must be really cautious and in tune with what we are doing and saying that can alter the pure nature of a child.

Children don’t come into this world feeling a sense of superiority or deference to other people.  They operate on a different plane then we do.  They see what we can’t see because we have forgotten the truth of who we were divinely created to be for ourselves and for the enhancement of others.  It will take a lot of reflection and soul searching for us to come to grips of what we are demonstrating consciously and unconsciously.  We have to be tapped into our higher level of consciousness when we are in the midst of children.

They are so highly sensitive that they are able to read right through us.  They value our opinions.  They model our behavior.  They take our words to be the truth and nothing but the truth.  They want our acceptance and love so they will honor and respect what we tell them and show them.  It is a lot of responsibility but that is what “Parenthood” is all about.  If you value your relationship with your child, you will make sure that you are being honest and trustworthy, because if they discover that what in fact you have told them is not truthful and righteous, you run the risk of losing their respect and trust.

We also have to make sure that the people we expose our children to from relatives to teachers, coaches, etc. are on the same page as we are.  This period of childhood is the training ground for their journey through life.  The impressions made in childhood will not be forgotten and can paint a huge section of the canvas of their life’s story.  Racism and self-destructive behavior can be eradicated from the fiber of our humanity if each of us will do our part to be our highest selves.

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

Stay in Touch:                                                          http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/

Theme Song- Have A Heart 4 Kids Today

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads #16-

The Real Value of Engaging Children in Experiencing the Rituals of Holidays.

***For translation of the text of the blog: touch the Blue Globe on the top right-hand corner.

Children by their very nature love to party and have a good time! After all they are “Joy”!

How do we respectfully and intentionally engage our children in holiday celebrations so that the experience is both memorable and void of stress and anxiety?

Realizing that the act of celebrating life and engaging in rituals that represent those celebrations, is a unique and purposeful ingredient in our human divine design.  We have throughout our history as a specie, engaged in occasions that are in context to our life experiences.  Whether it is a communal expression, religious doctrine-based rituals, national or ethic-based celebrations that denote remembrances of things from a historical context, we have an instinctual need to “celebrate life”.  This ability to celebrate and be in a state of joy and happiness, is a legacy we must pass on to our children.

We are so fortunate and blessed when we are able to demonstrate for our children that life is worth taking out the time and energy to “Celebrate” through our own expressions of engaging in the festivities of our culture, religion, and any other occasion that we can participate in.  There is even room in our life to make new rituals and activities that are unique to our family.

So, what are the to do’s for our children?

1. Prepare them ahead of a holiday event or other celebrative event.  I would suggest depending on what is being celebrated, that you sit down at some point and talk about what they can expect.
2. If there are resources available read a story with them on the topic or go on an adventure looking up the history and purpose of the “What and Why”.
3. Make a plan on what you want to expose your child-children to in relationship to the event or occasion.  Timeline of how long you will engage. Know the signals of when your child is tired or overwhelmed.
4. Balance!!! Everyone raises their children in their own unique way based on their own subscription of their values, so don’t waste time being judgmental, just be clear with your own children that your family values and expectations for behavior is consistent whether they are at home or in a public situation. You know what gets your children in a space that they feel out of sorts, so it is our responsibility as parents to stay in tune with what is happening with them.  I like what I call “Check in times”!  We have a little signal that means, come in for a quick huddle.
5. Be realistic!!  There are holidays that we celebrate that have lost sight of the real reason for us celebrating them and have taken on a commercial texture that makes it competitive and devalued in purpose.  If you decide to pull back from that texture of the celebration, make sure you never go “cold turkey”, talk about it as a family, and make sure that everyone participates in the outcome.
6. Take care of yourself!  Don’t go overboard to the point you are exhausted and overwhelmed because that will impact not just you, but the whole family.  Moderation so that you make memories of joy and not nightmares of anxiety and remorse.

So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize something that brings you back into homeostasis with your soul expression.  May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are and what you are gifting humanity.

Ashé! Have a Blessed Day!

**Note: These recordings are based on my blog writings, and all of this comes through Spirit.  The recordings are a reflection of the writings and are not edited because I do not want to alter what is coming to me through “Great Spirit”.  I am not seeking perfection, only serving as a vessel to bring love, peace, and joy, to our humanity.

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

Stay in Touch:                                                          http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads # 15
Nurturing Our Children Into the Development of their Consciousness!

Ua in deep meditation doing his Tai Chi ritual mantra he made for himself.  

***For translation of the text of the blog: touch the Blue Globe on the top right-hand corner.

The Process of awakening the gift of consciousness that are children are born with, starts in the early stages of development and continues throughout our life’s journey.

We have a responsibility as parents to awaken the consciousness in our children’s souls so that they have an understanding of right and wrong, being grateful, have the ability to feel remorse for actions and deeds that are not in alignment with being their higher selves. We don’t want them to use words that can cause other people to experience pain and hurt! It is an everyday task and experiential opportunities to guide children into the understanding of their emotional intelligence which is the foundation and support of their developing social skills and sense of consciousness!

I believe that one of the reasons we are witnessing so much neurotic and heinous violence in our world today is because many human beings have been deprived of the care, nurturing, and guidance they needed as children when it should have occurred! We have an urgent responsibility to take this task seriously! We need to realize that the emotional intelligence and emotional well-being of our children must be a priority, because if not, I can guarantee you that all the cognitive -intellectual development and educational preparation we make as a priority will be of little significance in the scheme of developing the “whole, healthy, happy, and successful contributing global citizen.

We went through a phase in Early Childhood Education, where we told children they didn’t have to apologize to someone if they hurt them physically or emotionally, unless they meant it! Well, how would children be able to value apologizing or understand the “why” it is important to be able to “feel a sense of remorse” for their actions if we don’t guide them and nurture them through the process!

Children are highly intuitively sensitive, and we have to find ways to plug into their ability to develop an evolved consciousness! Please, thank you, I’m sorry, forgive me are essential essences of an evolved and functioning society! Teaching and modeling gratitude for receiving and earnest humility in giving, is an unbelievable gift we can give to our children that will when done collectively, change the trajectory of our struggling humanity!

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

Stay in Touch:                                                          http://heart4kidsadvocacy.org/