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Tiny Tips 4 Moms and Dads #4-We are the “Spirit Guides” of our Children-

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads-#4

We are the “Spirit Guides” of our Children-

Parents and the “Village”  Must be in Concert!

We must be in touch with who we are to and for our children.

The beauty of this responsibility is that we have an opportunity to provide a “village” to support us in nurturing and guiding them.

I have an intuitive understanding that as parents we are the “spirit guides “for our children.  What do I mean by the term ‘spirit guide”?  Well, just like many philosophers and theorists before me, I realize that ultimately our children do not belong to us, but to themselves and the universe that they have come to be served in and to serve.  We cannot take ownership of our children.  We cannot impose what we feel to be their identity or their destiny.  We begin this relationship with them while they reside in the womb.  It is at this time we begin to understand some of their nature.  It is important to be very communicative with them.

 

I feel that we have a responsibility to watch our children, to listen to them, and to talk with them, not at them.  The receptive and expressive communication format that we develop with our children will make all the difference in the world in what we have as a foundation for building a functional, as opposed to dysfunctional, relationship with our children.  The world is going to step in and try to take over as quickly as possible.  If we are to be “spirit guides to and for our children, we must work diligently and with great commitment to preserve their childhood.  We make our greatest imprint during their childhood.  Adolescence will follow coming through like the tornado or hurricane that it can be.  If we hold our ground and we are steadfast in our relationship with them, we will survive the storm and they will come out victorious.

 

I do believe that it is important for us to acknowledge the milestones of development in our children. Parents must educate themselves so that they have an understanding how children grow and develop.  If we neglect this, we are doing not only our children a disservice, but we are also doing a disservice to ourselves.  You don’t have to fumble around in the dark and bang your head against the wall every time it seems as though no matter what you do or say, you are not getting through to them.  Trust me, they might not be listening to you, but they heard you. I strongly recommend taking a Child Growth and Development class as well as Parent Education courses if you feel you need the support. If you find that your child has special needs, do not hesitate to reach out for support.

There are so many resources available to you and your child.   I strongly suggest, is that you evaluate the ideas and theories that are presented in the courses, and then use what you feel is appropriate for your child, your family dynamics, and your cultural and religious values.  You must feel as though what you are doing for and with your child is intuitively comfortable and appropriate.  There is no one size fits all aspects of a human being.  We are mind, body, emotions, and spirit.  Each aspect of our evolution must be nurtured and cared for.

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Tiny Tips 4 Moms and Dads-#2- It’s a Big Job-But Somebody Has To Do It!

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads#2

  It’s a big job-But Somebody Has to Do it!

         Clueing Into the Influencers in Our Child’s Life!

Oh, this is a big one in raising children!  We have to be constantly concerned that the people we are surrounding our children with, and even the people that are acquaintances are vetted by us.  I know to use the terminology- “vetted” seems serious, but if we do not take a serious look at the people that are influencing our children, we are leaving to chance, what their impact might be on not just them physically, but emotionally and psychologically!  There are also “Influencers” that impact our children in social media, and television content in programs that are geared for children.  These are times where the social engagement with children is off the chart in terms of securing their safety.  We as parents are the ones that are responsible for their safety and yes, it is a lot of work, but we have no choice!  We have to screen what they are exposed to in the world of technology.

There are so many hidden messages that are infused in what is supposed to be “children’s programing”, that I strongly suggest that if you are allowing your children to watch TV, or use the computer, that you not only set up guidelines of the “To do’s and the Not to do’s”, but that you are present in the room, or taking the time to engage in the watching of the tv program.  It is important for you to be eyes and ears, in what your child is being exposed to.  It is important that if questions come up in the process, that you are there to engage in the conversation.  The right information at the right time of your individual child’s maturation, is key to safeguarding your child’s innocence, and capability of processing information.  Have you ever observed that your child even has an emotional reaction to certain music. I observed that our kids get very sensitive to music in minor keys. Take note!

 

Then there is the interest and concern about who are the influencers that engage in our child’s life, and I don’t mean just friends and acquaintances!  Who are the members of our family that will be a positive stake holder in our child life and development?  Who are the family members who are healthy in mind, body, and spirit, that we can trust will lovingly and earnestly engage with our children appropriately?  Will they study the nature of our child and be willing to engage with them for “Who they are”?  Will they say and do things for them that will build their self-esteem and anchor them in loving and respecting themselves?

Will they make the time and spend the energy to “think before they speak” so that they say things that are context and content appropriate?  Will they be willing to share their knowledge, wisdom, and the legacy of your family that will ground them in pride, self-confidence, and respecting the value and legacy of your family?  Will they be truthful and respectful, and be adult enough in their own identity, that they realize that they must make sure that what they share with your child, has been sanctioned by you, as their parents.

 

Survey your family, and without bias and judgment but with wisdom and forethought decide who you feel safe engaging with your child!  Sometimes it is a very simple, statement, that someone can say to your child that is not being said with malice or thoughts of hurting them, but once said, it enters the psyche of a child, and believe me when I tell you it never leaves!  Somehow and at some time it will surface and color some essence of their life memory bank.  It is amazing how little things done and said in childhood can weave into some aspect of who we see ourselves or others as. Wow!  Parenthood is no joke, but “Great Spirit” is always there to support us if we but tune into the vibration!

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Tiny Tips 4 Moms and Dads #22 – “The Balancing Act-The 4 Domains of Our Children’s Development!”

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads#22

The Balancing Act-Physical, Cognitive, Social Emotional, and Spiritual Development in Our Children.

***For translation of the text of the blog: touch the Blue Globe on the top right-hand corner.

We look for the teaching moments so that we can use real life experiences to live the lesson.

The balancing act of supporting our child’s life in all the domains of their potential development is our most difficult and challenging responsibility as parents.  We first have to acknowledge and understand the different domains of the human design.  Our children’s physical, cognitive, social-emotional, and spiritual development sets the stage for who they are and will continue to evolve to be.

How we care for and nurture those areas of development must be attended to and guided into alignment in terms of maintaining a balance of the time and energy we invest in each of them.  We have to be observant and discerning in terms of what area of their divine design calls for, at times, more attention and loving guidance, then other areas that might be more in sync and grounded.

We as parents must understand that first of all, no two children are alike and that one child might need in one of these domains, will be different.  It calls for us to be open and receptive of who are children are and what they need.  There is no steadfast timetable track that these domains develop on.  The authentic nature of who that child is designed to be dictates what they need at any given time.  It is such a miraculous experience for parents to witness.  I feel these observations, engagement, and opportunities to nurture our children in these important domains, is the key to not only supporting their development, but giving us as parents the chance to see ourselves for who we are.

This revelation can lead us to really having an even more compassionate understanding of our child-children.  It is so exciting to watch our children grow into themselves and for to be privileged to be an active participant and listener.  We must therefore keep a watchful eye that we are doing our magical parental balancing act to attend to the total development of our child-children- mind-body-emotions-and spirit!

Parenting Tips:

So, breathe deeply! Close your eyes and visualize how intricately you are connected to this life that has been brought on to this planet that has its own unique and “Divined Identity” and “Divined Purpose. May today bring you a sense of peace, joy, and moments of feeling loved and validated for who you are your journey through parenthood, and what you are not only gifting humanity, but how the life of your child is a blessing to you, and how you are a blessing to your child. 

Thank You Jim Brickman for your beautiful music that vibrates through this recording. This is a selection from his album – “Music to Quiet Your Mind and Sooth Your World”.

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Tiny Tips 4 Moms and Dads #1-Sometimes It Is Yes! Sometimes It Is No! Sometimes It Is Maybe!

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads#1

Sometimes it is yes!

Sometimes it is no!

Sometimes it is maybe!

Sometimes it is not at this time because…

But we as parents must always start with-

Breathe-

“Let me think about it and we can talk”!

Believe it or not, kids really depend on us to make sound decisions.

They want to make independent decisions, but we have a responsibility to teach them how to do that in a way that is nurturing, protective, and inclusive. 

Wow! This is probably one of the hardest parts of being a parent!  The part that calls on us to know what is good for the development and safety of our children and what is not.  It is the time in their life where we are guiding and teaching them how to make appropriate decisions.  Decisions that will enhance the quality of their life experiences.  This is not something that is done overnight, and the maturity -intellectually, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, must be taken into account as we allow them to make more and more independent decisions.

No two children are the same and that is what can make it difficult to explain that what is good for one child, might not be good for another.  But as parents, we have no choice but to respond to each child individually.  In light of this dilemma, there has to be general foundational values that run thru the fabric of a family.  Children need consistency, continuity, and honesty.  They need to see a common thread of the decision process being used throughout the family members and dynamics. There has to be equality and consideration of everyone’s feelings and desires.

Parents have to come up with a process that works for their family.  But I would like to suggest the following:

  1. Sometimes you will be able to say “Yes” because the request is simple and requires no in-depth analysis on your part. You have to be grounded in what those things are if you are to respond responsibly.  Maybe even identify those things with your child so that they know that if the circumstances are right, you will most likely be able to grant their request.
  2. Sometimes you will have to say “No” because you know and I bet they kind of know-that what they are asking is clearly not in their best interest and might cause them harm. You might even identify the things that hypothetically, could be dangerous, not appropriate for their age, or would have serious repercussions not just physically, but emotionally.
  3. Sometimes it can be a simple “Maybe”, because it is something that you have given them permission to do before and it has proven to be a healthy, rewarding experience for them. This is the request that is about “Timing” and making it work in consideration to everything else that is going on in the life of the “Family”.  There are the individual needs and then there is also the needs of the “Collective.
  4. Then when a request gives you a little “pause”, you might just have to respond with –“Not at this time because…”. That is the one that teaches that there is not always instant gratification and allows for the development of “Patience”, which we as adults know to be one of the most difficult character traits to develop.  What I like about this is that we have the “because”.  I really believe it is important to treat children as intelligent human beings and they deserve for us to explain why we make these judgment calls. Even in this process we are modeling how to make the “best decision”!
  5. But the first thing we must do no matter what we say, even if for only a moment, is to –

Take a breath- and respond with our parental mantra for making informed decisions and say- “Let me think about it and we can talk”! Ooops- another opportunity to model patience, thoughtfulness, and love.  I would even sign this statement with a kiss.  They now know that they have your full attention and that what is transpiring in their life, is important and relevant to you.  This whole process can be empowering to children because this action entails their participation and input in the discussion that is to follow.

Next time we touch on this topic- we will contemplate on what are the driving thoughts and influences that create these requests.  It is of great importance that we survey that with our children.  It’s part of the awakening of how their world interfaces with the world we live in.

Oh, the Joys of Parenting!!

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A Communal Transformative Parenting Hub- “Tiny Tips 4 Moms and Dads!

A Communal Transformative Parenting Hub-   

  “Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads”

 

Welcome to Our Parenting Hub!  Here we are creating a sacred space where I hope to share “Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads” that will make “Parenting” a journey that is both transformative and supportive as you embark on the “Journey through Parenthood”!  I hope that what is shared will be eye opening and uplifting and will give you a sense of peace and balance as a parent in “residence” with the gift of your child-children.

Parenting is basically a trial and error expereince as both the child and the parent navigate their relationship in a world that is evolving so rapidly, that we are living in a state of very little grounding.  While parenthood is challenging, it is the most amazing expereince that brings you the most gratification as you witness your growth and development and the growth and develpment of your child.

As a parent, I must embrace the gift of parenthood and the responsibilities of this role in my child’s life.  It is a life long journey in which there will be opportunities for me to build a loving and respectful relationship with my child.  Everyday is a day which presents new challenges and new growth.  I invite you to share in my experiences as a parent and as an educator of young children.

The Poem- ” I Realize”, that is the foundation of my philosophy of Parenting-

I realize I’ve been given the gift to be your parent and as your parent I realize this is a life time commitment.

I realize this means I have the responsibility to be your lifetime earthly ‘Spirit Guide”.

I realize you are a gift given to me great intention and you and I are connected by design.

I realize you are expecting me to take my responsibility seriously and understand I cannot be your friend and “Spirit Guide” at the same time.

I realize you are expecting me to love you, guide you, support you, and discipline you, with consistency and continuity.

I realize I must follow through with what I proclaim to be truth, justice, integrity and genuine love for you, so you will ultimately develop your own sense a conscious and values.

I realize I must be very intentional in spending time with you, praying with you, playing with you, laughing with you, crying with you, listening to you, and problem solving with you.

I realize I have a responsibility to provide for you- to make sure you have all the resources and experiences you need to be a whole, healthy, happy and confident human being.

I realize you are not me and I am not you and as your “Spirit Guide” I have a responsibility to observe you and discover who you are and what “Great Spirit” has ordained you to contribute to society so I can support you on your journey to “Greatness”.

I realize you came here knowing who you are and what you must do and if I honor and respect you and if I demand that others do the same, you will blossom into your full expression of beauty and this world will be a better place because of you.

I realize I have a responsibility to be all I can be so you will know I expect you to do the same.

I realize our love for each other will last beyond this life time and the next and what we build with each other today will last forever.

I realize you are my gift and I am yours.

Elizabeth M. Evans

June 2006

I invite you to read my book- “Embracing the Gift of Parenthood- How to Create a Loving Relationship With Your Children”. Available: Amazon and Barnes and Noble

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Introduction to -“What Is- Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads?”

What Is-Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads?

I have been asked if what I do is a business. Well actually it is not a business! It is merely- A Family Affair!

 

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads-

What is “Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads?  It is an intention to support parents on their journey thorough “Parenthood”.  The intention is to share my ideas and thoughts about different experiences parents have and will be challenged with.  The topics are shared so that parents feel they are not alone on this journey and that they belong to a community of parents that have a common ground on which to parent their children. 

These Tiny Tips are not shared in a way to pass judgement or be the only solution to the challenges of parenthood!  I just want to help parents support the lives of their children with confidence and open mindfulness.  Please feel free to contact me with any questions that might come to mind when you read the post.

We will be running a weekly series of-

“Tiny Tips For Moms and Dads” that we hope you will enjoy.  We have done these previously but now we are adding voice recordings to make our Tips more personal and approachable for parents, extended family, and all those professionals that interact with children.  Remember- the blogs are translatable by pressing the blue globe at the top of the blog.

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Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads- Ingredient #7

Children are the greatest gift to humanity.

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads- Ingredient #7

What does it take and whom must you be to serve children as their teacher?

You must be patient.

They say, whoever they are, that patience is a virtue.  I know as a teacher and a mother, that being patient is a necessary element that we must develop in our character.  I confess that it is an everyday skill set that we as in our human nature, struggle to be consistent with on a daily basis and from one situation to the next.  I believe that in terms of the character assets that we need to approach the world with, patience is one of those acquired assets that can make life more doable and enjoyable.  Patience sets the tone of how the world will respond to us.  It can be quite a challenge to be patient with adults because our expectations for their behavior and attitude is that because they have life experiences under their belt and an archive of lessons from which they should have learned and evolved, that adults would operate from a space of wisdom and integrity. 

However, when it comes to children we have a responsibility as the adults in their life, to be mature and far more understanding and patient as we lead them, guide them, and nurture them through their childhood experiences.  They are truthfully and righteously are supposed to be able to depend on us to be compassionately patient.  What does this energetic response of patience need to sustain itself?  Well first, it calls for us to be patient and understanding of who we are as a human being coming from our own life experiences and come to a realization that we are not perfect, we are called to, as is everyone , knowingly or not, called to practice the art of perfecting ourselves in our own unique divine identity, and that this art of perfecting the evolution of our soul expression is what life is all about. 

We must see each other, especially children, in that light so that they are free of judgment and other people’s expectations.  Can you imagine what the world would be like, and even better, what a child’s childhood would be like if they were surround by, and showered with patience, which in the core of patience love is the foundational element?  Can you imagine how much children would learn in their school environments and in their home environments if they knew their caregivers nurtured them with patience?  How do you feel when someone has treated you with “compassionate patience”? I know from my life experiences that not only does it instill more patience for me to share with others, but it inspires me to take flight and soar.  It makes me feel like I am valued and that I have unlimited potential.  I believe that this is what we want for our children.  Think about it?