Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads#2

  It’s a big job-But Somebody Has to Do it!

         Clueing Into the Influencers in Our Child’s Life!

Oh, this is a big one in raising children!  We have to be constantly concerned that the people we are surrounding our children with, and even the people that are acquaintances are vetted by us.  I know to use the terminology- “vetted” seems serious, but if we do not take a serious look at the people that are influencing our children, we are leaving to chance, what their impact might be on not just them physically, but emotionally and psychologically!  There are also “Influencers” that impact our children in social media, and television content in programs that are geared for children.  These are times where the social engagement with children is off the chart in terms of securing their safety.  We as parents are the ones that are responsible for their safety and yes, it is a lot of work, but we have no choice!  We have to screen what they are exposed to in the world of technology.

There are so many hidden messages that are infused in what is supposed to be “children’s programing”, that I strongly suggest that if you are allowing your children to watch TV, or use the computer, that you not only set up guidelines of the “To do’s and the Not to do’s”, but that you are present in the room, or taking the time to engage in the watching of the tv program.  It is important for you to be eyes and ears, in what your child is being exposed to.  It is important that if questions come up in the process, that you are there to engage in the conversation.  The right information at the right time of your individual child’s maturation, is key to safeguarding your child’s innocence, and capability of processing information.  Have you ever observed that your child even has an emotional reaction to certain music. I observed that our kids get very sensitive to music in minor keys. Take note!

Then there is the interest and concern about who are the influencers that engage in our child’s life, and I don’t mean just friends and acquaintances!  Who are the members of our family that will be a positive stake holder in our child life and development?  Who are the family members who are healthy in mind, body, and spirit, that we can trust will lovingly and earnestly engage with our children appropriately?  Will they study the nature of our child and be willing to engage with them for “Who they are”?  Will they say and do things for them that will build their self-esteem and anchor them in loving and respecting themselves?

Will they make the time and spend the energy to “think before they speak” so that they say things that are context and content appropriate?  Will they be willing to share their knowledge, wisdom, and the legacy of your family that will ground them in pride, self-confidence, and respecting the value and legacy of your family?  Will they be truthful and respectful, and be adult enough in their own identity, that they realize that they must make sure that what they share with your child, has been sanctioned by you, as their parents.

Survey your family, and without bias and judgment but with wisdom and forethought decide who you feel safe engaging with your child!  Sometimes it is a very simple, statement, that someone can say to your child that is not being said with malice or thoughts of hurting them, but once said, it enters the psyche of a child, and believe me when I tell you it never leaves!  Somehow and at some time it will surface and color some essence of their life memory bank.  It is amazing how little things done and said in childhood can weave into some aspect of who we see ourselves or others as. Wow!  Parenthood is no joke, but “Great Spirit” is always there to support us if we but tune into the vibration!

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