Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

We woman of color are being left on the side of the road with no safety net. It is so difficult to fit into the new medical system of OBGYN medicine. We find the doctors are not invested in who we are and who we are carrying. We feel less than human in many instances. We feel alone and expendable. We feel no human connection with many of those physicians that we are paying thousands of dollars to care for us throughout our pregnancy, and to be there for the birth of our child. There is no effort to align or even explore who we are as a person, what values and elements of our cultural heritage are expressed during this process of bringing a child into the world.

The system that is in place now leaves us no where to fit in or feel we are being cared for. There is very little investment on the part of the doctor or their staff. The pattern is sort of like-

You find a doctor and call to make an appointment-

They ask you when your baby is due-

They tell you if the doctor is willing to deliver your baby according to their vacation-

If they have not reach the limit of the number of births they want to deliver during your month, then they will take you-

They meet with you initially and make you feel like they are interested in you-

They schedule your appointments according to what must be checked up at specific times during your pregnancy-

You may or may not see your physician- They want you to be familiar with other doctors in the practice so sometimes you have to meet a doctor you have no relationship with- I understand this because it is safe to have a Plan B- but at this point it becomes more and more difficult to have any continuity of care.

This is where the “ball is dropped”! No relationship-No trust- No one to confide in-Hit or miss communication.

You are lost!

You are frightened!

When you experience unusual things during the pregnancy- or things happen and you don’t know if it is common or not-or you want to discuss it with your doctor-

They are not available or accessible – So the response is – Go to the hospital! No feedback! No reassurance! No concern because you don’t matter? Is this really how medicine is to be practiced in the wealthiest most advanced country in the world? No! I see it! I know what it is! It is so ingrained in our country that it has become the norm!

I am watching this unfold right before my eyes. It pains me! This is why we need our village to support us! This is why we need our women that are elders. This is why we need our safety nets. This is why we need our Mid-wives and Doulas. We can not rely simply on the doctors that are engulfed in the “System”! When we find doctors that see us, and care for us, we must share their practices among ourselves. We need to form a network of physicians that care for us. Stand up! Speak up! Show up for each other!