Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

What does it mean this “Sacred -Time In”?  We all hear the about the punitive “Time Out”, that we as Early Childhood educators and children advocates deem- inappropriate!  In contrast to that “Time In”, refers to having an alone time, a special time, a mommy and me or daddy and me time.  It is the time that holds the opportunity for re-connection between parent and child.  It is the time for taking walks, going to the park to play, having meals together, reading stories, playing games, answering questions that have been on their mind, being completely and utterly available and attentive to “Just them”! It is about setting aside intentionally, time and space for them.  It is not getting on the phone or any other device that would distract you from being totally “present”.  I think perhaps that we feel that we are spending time with our children just by being in the same place at the same time.    

The reality is, just because we are “With them”, it does not mean we are “Into Them”.  I observe my niece with her children, and she has made it clear with her children that if they need to have a “Special Day” or “Special Time” with her, all they need to do is to express their needs.  Together, she and her child or children have learned to ask for what they need.  In turn she and the child pick a day, make a list of the “To Do Things”, and seal it with a kiss. Snuggling is always part of the day’s agenda!  Lots of hugs and kisses!

Now of course there has to be a plan, not that it is written in stone!  But start out contemplating what you have the time and energy for before you even begin to enter into this contract because children are relentless!  When you make a promise be ready to keep it!  I would strongly suggest the following steps to this adventure into the “Sacred Time In” proposal:

1. Figure out what you have the time and energy to invest in.
2. Pick the date and time.
3. Make sure you have taken care of yourself first so that you are really up to the adventure!
4. With your child, or children, plan out the activities and evaluate what is and is not feasible in your “Sacred Time In”!  Don’t overstretch yourself!! Sometimes it is better to take on one or two things to do and spread it out over a day or perhaps 2 days.  If you do too much you run the risk of things falling apart!
5. Stay attentive and sensitive to your child’s energy as well.  Sometimes they have big ideas but because they are children, just like you they get tired.  Look for the signals and if necessary, change plans that include postponing things, choosing other less strenuous activities, or just implement “snuggle time”-reading/ watching a show together/playing a game together. 
6. It is really ok to also admit that you are tired and need to call your won “Time In” to catch your breath and recharge.  It works both ways, but you have to start out the way you want to end up.
7. At the end of the “Sacred Time In”, set up a time when you can have a re-cap chat and talk about: What you both liked/What you did not like/What you would like to do again and even differently. 
8. Remember to take pictures so you have memories and for older children they could have a journal to write their memories in with pictures.

Trust me when I say these “Sacred Time In” events, will add so much to your relationship with your child!  Every child want to feel they are special to their mommie and daddy!