Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

Teaching Children that Their Ideas and Opinions Matter and So Do the Ideas and Opinions of Others

This is a lifelong skill that is needed in ever relationship we engage in.  It can be a crucial factor that can make the difference in whether or not communication, respect, and the sustainability of a relationship endures or not.  People want to not only be listened to, but they want to be heard and valued for what they contribute in expressing their thoughts and perspectives while engaged in a discourse-conversation-or settling and resolving a situation.  We of course do not necessarily have to agree with each other but at the very least, we need to be respectful enough and secure enough, that we give others an opportunity to also be in full expression of their thoughts in a genuinely compassionate way.

 I know parents get tired of me saying that they have to model this kind of behavior-trait with their children, but if not the parent, then who are we leaving this “Heart2SoulParenting” to? We cannot leave developing this important skill sets-character traits, to other people that by chance they get it in school, etc. We have to find creative opportunities to take advantage of, to bring this skill their attention and nurture it’s development. 

One skill supports the development of another.  When our children are confident and have an ego that is working on a healthy balance, they can receive this skill of valuing their ideas and opinions and at the same time valuing other people’s.  We must find those teaching moments to bring it into their consciousness and support their understanding of how it is important.  We don’t talk at them but engage them in conversational questions so that what comes through comes from within them and not from us.  They need to be able to feel it, experience it,  internalize it and practice it!

What excites me about this is that if our children learn this and utilize this skill or character trait in their childhood, who will they be as adults and how can they impact the world that they inherit from us.  They will be the change makers! Trust me! The development of a child’s social-emotional intelligence is the foundation of every other domain that we currently give more value and importance to.   Start nurturing and guiding the essence of who they are and who they have the potential to be as “human beings”, and you will be giving the most profound gift a parent can give their child!