Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

This is such an important element in the overall development of a human being. Love is the foundation of our entire life’s journey, perceptions of our experiences, and impacts the texture of how we respond to the world. It dictates how we feel about ourselves and how we engage in our relationships with others. If we do not know how to express our feelings of love and do not feel loved and cherished by our primary caretakers-parents, family, and chosen village that supports our family, then there is a lifetime void- a feeling that does not generate self-love and self-worth. We all express love differently, but there are some basic requirements that must be included that are universal. It goes beyond cultural norms and values! It is an instinctual, human, need that is incorporated in our design. Without these elements, there is a need to seek it out and most of the time we don’t know how to access what we are looking for because we have not identified what is missing among the universal elements of love.

Children have to see us loving one another. Children have to feel us loving them. Children have to have opportunities to develop their modality of expressing love and have it acknowledged and validated by us. The important elements that need to be included in this emotion of “Loving” and “being Loved” are a physical connection, an emotional connection, and a verbal connection. Children need to be touched in a way that is gentle but strong in terms of making them feel protected and safe. Cuddle time is critical to a child. Teaching them how to discern appropriate physical contact is part of this experience. Teachings them they have the power to “say no, I am not comfortable-I don’t like this” is also part of this experience. I know one of my most cherished moments in my life was when my mother always took my hand when we were out in the world-even as an adult. To this day I can feel the warmth of her hand in mine when I need to feel her eternal spirit.

Children need to be supported in discovering how they feel and express their emotions of love and being loved. It is so important in the development of a child to be able to express their feelings and to be able to communicate to us that they need love and affection, and this must be heard and responded to.  It is our responsibility as parents and caregivers to be cognizant of how children are feeling emotionally and their physical response to situations often times is a big eye opener to what is transpiring in their heart and soul. 

Children need to be empowered to verbally express what they are feeling.  They need to be comfortable and secure enough to say openly and freely, in any situation, that they need “our love and attention”!  They need to be encouraged to say things like “I need a cuddle”.  They need to hear us say, “I love you”, “You are special to me”.  I believe in teaching children affirmations to support their ability to love themselves in an emotionally healthy way so that when they are challenged in life they have a shield of protection.  Little things like- “I am love and I am lovable”. “I love myself for who I am and who I have the potential of being so that I have the capacity to love others”.  “I am worthy of loving and being loved unconditionally”! I also encourage us to invite children to make their own affirmations that will come from them through their soul.