Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

They don’t mean any harm, they are usually as children, exploring and engaging in their world physically.  They do what feels real and inviting to them.  They have no problem cuddling up with family members that they love and trust.  Some children know no “strangers”!  They are just outgoing and have an energy that just calls them to get up close and comfortable.  Children bring excitement and joy into their world, and it is contagious if you tune into their vibration and allow yourself to indulge.  We do not want to curb their appetite for being affectionate and for feeling comfortable being close to other people, but we have to guide them through learning the clues and words of other people, when they are in a “I need my personal space” mood. 

It is quite the balancing act of preserving their natural inclination to cuddle up and be close and knowing when the “timing” is not right.  At some point, and you will know when, we can give the words to use to ask if it is ok to “cuddle up” and be close.  Words like- “Can we cuddle?”, “I need a hug”, “Can you hold me?”, “I need you”.  These expressions are to help children to also be able to express what and how they are feeling.  When children have a need to be close, there is a reason.  Sometimes words get in the way of being able to share their emotions, and us being able to read their clues, or merely clueing into what they are saying or not saying is ever so important.  This is why we spend so much time engaging with and observing our children so that we are in sync with who they are and what they need as they evolve.

 Believe me the day will come when they will not need to cuddle, and you will miss the specialness of needing to be cuddled or if we are honest-we enjoy cuddling with them.  I love it when my daughter-an adult-comes in my room and jumps on my bed to watch a movie or just share stories!  It is a priceless memory that draws me back to her childhood.  I cherish the ‘cuddle times”, they go so fast! So, my advice to parents is to value those “up close” cuddle times! Get them while you can!

P.S.  Remember- That children have the right to have a “I need my personal space time” too!!