Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

As children grow and realize that they are beings -individuals on their own right, we see them become more and more independent, self-aware, self-actualized, and in need of our nurturing to guide them to an understanding that there are times they must be cognizant of their behavior in relationship to other people. 

I know that this is a touchy topic with ECE educators and perhaps other people in different fields that are concerned with the welfare of children.  We have gone through the stage where some educators felt it was not appropriate for children to say they were sorry or to apologize for their actions that might have hurt another person.  I think we now have come to an understanding that by not teaching children to be accountable for their behavior we have done society and children that have to navigate this chaotic society, a great injustice.  We see firsthand how people are becoming more and more indifferent to the feelings and welfare of one another.  We want our children to grow up knowing that their actions, words and deeds can have either a positive or negative impact on someone else’s life, much less their own.

We want them to feel that recognizing that perhaps something that they said or did to someone else can cause pain physically and emotionally.  Feelings are important.  We want them to know that we acknowledge when someone has done something to cause them pain and that an apology would be the right thing to have received.  Along with learning to be accountable for their behavior, we have to nurture them in understanding the “why” we apologize and recognize the relief it brings to them and to the person receiving their apology. 

We must teach them that caring about and respecting other people, even when sometimes because of what has transpired in that other person’s life and the way that the other person has been cared for, they might not value their apology.   This then becomes another lesson where we teach them that they don’t need validation from other people, and that what they do in life is of value because they are of value and who they are is “enough”.  We want them to be ok with doing what they know to be right, and standing in their truth that they have been their best self and given their best to whatever the situation is.

So many lessons parents! So many things for us to experiment with and learn what works with our “child”!  What an amazing adventure-this parenthood status can be!