Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

How do we respectfully and intentionally engage our children in holiday celebrations so that the experience is both memorable and void of stress and anxiety?

Realizing that the act of celebrating life and engaging in rituals that represent those celebrations, is a unique and purposeful ingredient in our human divine design.  We have throughout our history as a specie, engaged in occasions that are in context to our life experiences.  Whether it is a communal expression, religious doctrine-based rituals, national or ethic-based celebrations that denote remembrances of things from a historical context, we have an instinctual need to “celebrate life”.  This ability to celebrate and be in a state of joy and happiness, is a legacy we must pass on to our children.  We are so fortunate and blessed when we are able to demonstrate for our children that life is worth taking out the time and energy to “Celebrate” through our own expressions of engaging in the festivities of our culture, religion, and any other occasion that we can participate in.  There is even room in our life to make new rituals and activities that are unique to our family.

So, what are the to do’s for our children?

1. Prepare them ahead of a holiday event or other celebrative event.  I would suggest depending on what is being celebrated, that you sit down at some point and talk about what they can expect. 
2. If there are resources available read a story with them on the topic or go on an adventure looking up the history and purpose of the “What and Why”.
3. Make a plan on what you want to expose your child-children to in relationship to the event or occasion.  Timeline of how long you will engage. Know the signals of when your child is tired or overwhelmed. 
4. Balance!!! Everyone raises their children in their own unique way based on their own subscription of their values, so don’t waste time being judgmental, just be clear with your own children that your family values and expectations for behavior is consistent whether they are at home or in a public situation. You know what gets your children in a space that they feel out of sorts, so it is our responsibility as parents to stay in tune with what is happening with them.  I like what I call “Check in times”!  We have a little signal that means, come in for a quick huddle.
5. Be realistic!!  There are holidays that we celebrate that have lost sight of the real reason for us celebrating them and have taken on a commercial texture that makes it competitive and devalued in purpose.  If you decide to pull back from that texture of the celebration, make sure you never go “cold turkey”, talk about it as a family, and make sure that everyone participates in the outcome.
6. Take care of yourself!  Don’t go overboard to the point you are exhausted and overwhelmed because that will impact not just you, but the whole family.  Moderation so that you make memories of joy and not nightmares of anxiety and remorse. 

So from my family to your family- Happiest of Holidays filled with joy, peace, love, and gratitude!