Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

Today as I was sitting at the kid’s soccer game, I found myself observing the behavior of the parents and coaches.  It is amazing how our behavior as adults makes an imprint on the behavior and perceptions our children have.  I think the challenge we have is that we come into situations, and we engage with one another and bring our own very personal expectations with us.  We carry around what we think people ought to do and who we think they ought to be.  I can’t tell you how this habit can be destructive and the constant disappointment tears away at our “divine inner light”.  It is such a waste of our time and energy to hold people to our standards especially when they are not us. 

We can only have expectations for ourselves.   We can only strive to meet our own standards.  We can only hold ourselves accountable for our words, actions, and deeds.  This is a precious lesson to share with our children.  It is so freeing and liberating to not have to get invested in things and other people’s behavior.  So to day when one of the coaches was roasting the little 8 year boys for their Fall soccer season, and was lost to say things to the boys that could have not only built their confidence and self-esteem, but would have shown that he actually had spent time to observe the boys and what potential and growth they had shown over the season, I realized I had to relinquish my expectations.  I had to step back and tell myself that he was doing his best with what his life experiences had taught him so far. What a great thing to finally learn on of life’s greatest lessons- Judge not so that ye shall not be judged!