Bullying- Why We Must Teach and Model Compassion–
What is essentially the act of compassion or being a person that carries and uses compassion from a heart space?
I looked up the word compassion in the Webster’s Children’s Dictionary and was so disappointed in the choice of words that were used for children to define and understand what the word means. “ Pity for and a desire to help someone”- “ having or showing pity and a desire to help someone”. Then I looked it up in the regular Webster’s Dictionary and the same word “pity” was used in the definition. The Center for Compassion and Altruism defines compassion as “ A multi-textured response to pain, sorrow and anguish. It includes kindness, empathy, generosity and acceptance. When we teach children that to be compassionate it means to pity, this is the very reason behind the foundation on which bullying is such a devastating and dangerous act in our society today.
From the word “pity” there is a feeling of superiority and entitlement ingrained in the texture of the word! I would never have used that word in explaining compassion to children! Who do they think these children of this period of civilization are? They don’t have a clue. We are not nurturing and guiding our children in the “light of spiritual development that they deserve and are looking for. The very examples of what they see in the media, games, movies and adult behavior, that they are bombarded with, does not promote compassion and or empathy.
This Early Childhood period of development is critical in so many areas of development! It is the only time in a child’s educational experience that there is a conscious and intentional decision to provide children with a curriculum that embraces teaching a child what it is to be a whole, healthy, happy socially and an emotionally sound human being!
We must teach compassion, empathy, inclusiveness, acceptance, love and generosity of spirit. We must teach cause and effect! We must teach responsibility for our actions. We must teach remorse for negatively impacting another person thru teaching empathy. We are as parents, teachers, extended family, and friends influencing and imprinting on the soul development of our children! How do we hold a sacred space for them to show up as being compassionate adults in this challenging world? Will they have the tools and character to be contributing members of society? Are we setting them up for failure and pain because we have not done our part to guide them and uphold the integrity of their divine identity? Bullying is taught and modeled. Children possess an innate ability to respond with love and compassion. It must be protected and nurtured. We have work to do!
Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog 
An interesting and thought provoking essay.
This is something I struggled with in regards to my son as he is bullied due to his weight and being on the autism spectrum.
In year 7 he was singled out and targeted due to his problems and it was tough to stand by and watch whilst knowing that direct intervention on my behalf would make the problem larger.
I advised him to stand up to the bullies as they are basically cowards at heart.
He did just that and sadly more.
He became the bully all to ready to deliver a few good punches rather than turn the other cheek.
I then had to advise him when the school became involved that he had become the thing he despised, being a bully as he would settle any confrontation with a few punches.
I was confused and worried at what my boy had become and how he become the bully. Was it due to my advice?
It turned out in one of those rare honest discussions that he found that he had power over others if he used his fists and that this was the norm within his peer group. He admitted he liked the power but disliked the status he had established as people were afraid of him.
When I told him he become the thing he despised he was heartbroken due in large to the fact he has a heart and soul.
Since then he has learnt through many painful lessons that being bullied in high school, and life, is just one of those things and it is more about how you deal with it rather than depending on some promoted compassion from either school or government policy which is more often than not just words with no action or intent backing them up. Also that standing up for yourself does not mean becoming the thing you despise. I detailed events that he had experienced with me in that I responded differently and with success when dealing with people or organisations that wanted to be dominant over me. I showed him that there was a different path in life if he made the decision to follow it as it is difficult but ultimately more beneficial and productive.
I guess what I am trying to say is that life and the trials of life are more complex than just looking at a thing, finding a solution and then expecting everyone to hop on board. Life is about finding your own path and learning the lessons that you had no choice but to learn and then applying them to the life you want to live.
When all is said and done it comes down to leading by example and not by doctrine or dogma.
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By: mickmar21 on July 20, 2021
at 11:39 pm