Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

Children are designed and created to be “free spirits”- traveling through their world of wonderment and discovery!

We as parents and guardians of children, have the responsibility of providing the experiences and teaching moments where children are supported in developing not only their knowledge base, but even more importantly, their social emotional development.  It is in this area of their development that we must be consistent in what skills and behavior that will be in their best interest so that they live healthy and happy lives.  It is important for us to be observant and responsive in a nurturing way and to instill in them values that will allow them to fully participate and function in this non-tolerant and judgmental society.  We want our children to be comfortable and confident expressing their needs and “being themselves”.  With each age there will be challenges in terms of their behavior and testing the limits. It begins during infancy and really shows up in the “What can I do” Two’s and continues through young adulthood in discovering “Who am I” stages of processing. We will realize that when children are dealing with finding ways to express their frustration and anger, we want to help them evolve into a behavior that will afford them healthy ways, so they are strapped down into tantrums and feeling scared because they have lost control and there is no one tuning in to help support them through their emotions.

Honestly, Children do not like the experience and feelings of being out of control or out of their bodies.  It is scary for them to not have a loving and nurturing adult to intervene and bring them back to themselves. Children need us and the want us to be there for them. I am here to share with parents that there is such a word as “no”.  It is not the word that children take an objection to, it is the tonality, body language, and the way in which we approach them, that can set up an aversion to the infamous “No” word. Children are free when they know the boundaries and expectations under which they have to navigate their curiosity, instincts, and imagination.  It does not mean they will not test the limits, but as we are consistent and continue to guide them, they will eventually move on to testing other things. Yep!  It is a constant but that’s parenthood and the journey of childhood. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to negative behavior, or “no” to their getting into things that will cause them danger or harm. I believe that a “No” or “I don’t think so”, must be followed up with reasoning.  Children need the reasons behind decisions.  This habit will help them when they have to reason through decisions for themselves. It is taking out time for the “Why’s?”.  So my advice to parents is to “Start out the way you want to end up” and to “Nip things in the bud that need to be addressed”! Later is never better!