Heart4kidsadvocacyforum's Blog

It is such a wonderful challenge to try to figure out how to communicate with our children.  So much is involved and so much is at stake in formulating how we develop our communication relationship.  It is the foundation of how we will talk to and with our children into adulthood.  The basics of our modality of communicating must have strategies that evolve as our children grow and develop.  We always want to be truthful with them in words that are age appropriate and are in alignment with their personality and character. We have to feel the nature of our children and what they respond to and how they respond to different situations.  Every day is a day of learning who they are and even equally important, in the process we learn things about ourselves. 

Communication is a two-way operation. So much can be lost if we are not tuned into all the clues that are part of the communication designed. As we engage with our children through all their daily experiences if we are “present” in their lives, we will pick up those clues and learn how to translate them into what we are trying to express to them.  We are teaching them how to communicate not with just us and our family, but we are laying the groundwork for how they will navigate communicating in the world.  It takes a lot of practice, mistakes, misunderstanding, trial and error, but if we are conscientious, we will succeed.  Always remember that communication is not a perfect science.  There will be times that we come to a point where we get stuck in our ability to communicate with one another, but that is part of the human design. Remember to always:

Take a deep breath-

Speak in your normal natural voice- no yelling- that shuts communication down!

Listen attentively!

Reiterate what you think you heard!

Make sure you follow up with checking in with your child’s feelings behind the words!

Never open a conversation when you are in a state of anger.

Remember, you are the adult in the relationship, so you have the responsibility of taking the lead, keeping channels open and receptive, keep a balance in who speaks and always keep communication civil and respectful.

“Save the Yell for a “Safety Issue”- when your child is in a dangerous situation!”

P.S. Like when my child Niki at age two tried to investigate the mouth of a Doberman Pitcher and pried his mouth open to look inside!!!!