Posted by: heart4kidsadvocacyforum | March 21, 2024

Tiny Tips for Moms and Dads #64 Separation and Divorce Can Be Traumatic for Children, But It Does Not Have to Devastate Their Well-Being If We as Parents Communicate and Have a Tangible, Congenial, Egoless, and Cooperative Plan of Action!

It is a long road to healing a family that has or is experiencing the loss of an intact family unit, but healing the parental relationship will ultimately heal the fears and grief that their children will have to navigate through.  It is not easy, but more than worthwhile and definitely critical for the social-emotional well-being of our children.

I cannot begin to share the experiences I have had as an educator dealing with the trauma and grief of children whose families have disbanded their relationship as an intact functioning unit.  I have with years of dealing with these situations realized that the healing for these children lies in the healing of the parent’s relationship.   Children need the security that their parents can in spite of them not being in a love relationship with each other, does not mean that they are not in a loving relationship with their children as their parents.  It takes a lot of maturity and what some people might see as sacrifice, to put the welfare of their children as their priority.  There are of course situations where the adults can be in an abusive and violent relationship and that takes a different kind of resolution to come to terms with that first of all their children must be safe.  In the world we live in and recognizing the fragility of the human spirit, people are having difficulty sometimes making decisions that are void of being hurtful and dangerous.  The most unfortunate part of dealing with people that have abandoned their ability to use their gift of discernment, is that so often they respond to situations and people from their irrational pain bodies. 

Taking content from my most recent book, “The Global Covenant to Protect the Sacred Lives of Children”, and I quote-

“There really is a lot of maturity and selflessness required to raising and caring for children.  Whether a parent, teacher, social worker, physician, coach, or youth worker, those of us that have decided to raise children, serve children or interact with children and youth in some respect, must understand that means we have to come to the realization, that there is sacrifice and a huge commitment involved. “

“There are characteristics that those of us that are responsible for the care, guidance, and nurturing children must have in our development.  If we attend to children lovingly and compassionately, we will teach them the beauty of love and what authentic love is and can represent in their own lives. We have an opportunity to show them how they deserve to be loved unconditionally and how expansive and rich in texture their ability to love can be.”

I know that parents want the best for their children so I know that we must be intentional about working on their behalf to do whatever we must to secure their happiness, wholeness, and feelings of being loved, honored and respected. I invite all parents and those planning to become parents to read my book-

“Embracing the Gift of Parenthood- How to Create a Loving Relationship with your Children”.  We as parents have been gifted life’s most precious treasure- a child!  To quote from this book-

“The picture of the massive scope of the life of each of us is what makes the totality of this universe the experience that it is.  Each of us plays a vital and necessary part and no one’s life is a mistake.  We have such a great opportunity to develop children that will evolve into their destiny of greatness.  We must step into our purpose as parents.  It is a timeless, demanding, creative, spontaneous, flexible, and exhausting job.  The gratitude for what we are called to do as parents comes not necessarily from our children, but more importantly, from the sense of satisfaction in being able to say, “Well done thy good and faithful servant.”   We are each called to be “servants in the service of man.” The man we serve is not only our own children, but also all the children in the world for whom we are ultimately responsible for.  The world we create with our lives directly or indirectly affects the world we create for the children of today and tomorrow.  We must wake up and get busy!”

We have been blessed!


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